I Run To You

I run from pain
I run from prejudice
I run from pessimists
But I run too late
I run my life
Or is it running me
Run from my past
I run too fast
Or too slow it seems
When lies become the truth
That's when I run to you

(Chorus)
This world keeps spinning faster
Into a new disaster so I run to you
I run to you baby
And when it all starts coming undone
Baby you’re the only one I run to
I run to you

We run on fumes
Your life and mine
Like the sands of time
Slippin’ right on through
And our love’s the only truth
That’s why I run to you

Can the secular speak to the sacred?  I think so.  First time I heard this song I was struck by a few different lines that are truth about the sacred.  And every time since when I hear the song I am struck by those same lines and the truth that does not change. 

I run my life or is it running me
Do you feel ragged around your edges?  Like you are always figuratively trying to catch your breath?  Like your list of obligations (perceived or reality) just keeps getting longer?  Like there is no time to just be, there's only time to do?  If you do feel like that, and honestly I think most of us do, then it is possible that life is running you instead of you running it.  And if that's the case then you certainly aren't experiencing the abundant life.  Decide to make some changes and be pro-active.  What needs to change so that you are running your life and it isn't running you?

When lies become the truth, that’s when I run to you
Ever heard a lie so much that you begin to believe it is truth?  As soon as you recognize that the lie is masquerading as truth you are at a pivotal place.  Will you allow the lie to become truth or will you change the course and use the actual truth to disintegrate the lie?  When I hear this line the only person I think of that I can and do run to for truth is the author of it.  God.  He is the author of truth.  He holds in his hands the truth that can. does, and will change my life.  He is the one who shows me the lies that are fighting to take top spot in my life.  Do you have lies in your life that have become truth?  Run to the author of Truth and allow him to speak into those.

And our love’s the only truth, that’s why I run to you
In a world that doesn't value honesty and authenticity (even though we say we do) the only love that you can trust and rely on is that of God's.  Just as he is the author of truth so he is the author of true love.  His love is the only thing that will speak truth into your life, your relationships, your fears, your joys.

If you run to God you will find Truth permeate your life and as the world comes undone you will be secure in the life authored for you by the One who ordained it.

Reflections...No regrets

I'm in the midst of reflecting on the past couple of years of life.  I've just wrapped up a stint as one of the front desk faces at Young Life.  God is moving me on, I don't like it one bit but I'm going to walk in obedience to it.
Here's a look back at some of my other posts in the past couple of years about my time at Young Life...
All You Ever Wanted to Know About Being a Front Desk Receptionist
An Update on All the Sides of Being the Front Desk Receptionist
My 90 Day Review
A Year in Review

Last *you* heard from me was my year review.  Here's the brief update from that point:

2012 was a year of upheaval and change in our department, it was a tough year - it was either going to make us or break us!  I think a little of both happened.

The Young Life Celebration in January 2012 was amazing.  Again, such a generous gift from Young Life to Lanny and myself.  The weather was great, we got to sit by a pool in January!  What a gift that alone was for the middle of winter.  We were spoiled rotten by Young Life and blessed.  We came home from that trip with the compulsion to help start up a Young Life Club in Falcon, where we live.  Since then we have been on the super slow track to seeing that happen but we're still inching along toward that goal.

I literally know every single employee at the Service Center - both buildings!  That's crazy to me.  It is crazy to me that I have somehow been able to retain all those people in my memory bank.

The inner-office gifts came to an end.  I actually have a job to do (admin tasks) so couldn't keep up with that!  Nobody seemed to mind, by the time those ended the ice had been broken.  :)

During an extensive renovation of our Lobby the front desk was relocated to a noisy little box (an office but...ugh!).  Fortunately the "box" contained a large white board that I decided couldn't go blank as long as I was around!  So for the time we were contained to that space I put up a quote every day.  This led to my newest 365 Experiment which is a quote a day.

I became a Barista of sorts as our newly renovated Lobby served fresh ground coffee grown in Nicaragua in a joint venture with Young Life!  Check out Beyond Beans, great coffee and a great cause!

Changes were being stirred up....

As I said at the start, God is moving me on from Young Life and I'm not all that happy about it.  I love my job.  I actually don't even have adequate words to express how much I love my job.  I'm also pretty good at my job.  I've learned a lot and I've put it into practice. I've helped my boss with some of the more tedious tasks so she is freed up.  I've done my best to make sure people who walk into the Service Center are welcomed and feel welcomed.  I've held mini-counseling sessions at the front desk (this doesn't surprise those of you who know me well) and have been a place for people to be heard.  I'm pretty good at my job and not just the admin stuff.  The relational stuff I am able to balance out with the admin.  I love my job.  But changes were being stirred up and I believe timing is everything.  The time came for Lanny and I to look at me having to earn more than a part-time income.  We see some changes being stirred up in our family life and his workplace and we knew, through prayer and discussion, that we needed me to be in a job that was full time and offered medical benefits should the time come that his job no longer does that.  Unfortunately there was nothing for me at Young Life that could offer what my family and I now need.  Btw, there is NOW.  But like I said a minute ago, timing is everything.  An opportunity and offer opened up to me so fast that I am still, almost three weeks later, trying to figuratively catch my breath!  Timing is everything.

So I've been reflecting on my time at Young Life the past couple of years and how it intersected with my personal life.  I started working at Young Life just as I was coming out of a deep depression (I bet some of you didn't know that!) and it was tough for me.  It's hard enough to exert energy on the heels of depression but combine it with my core personality of being an introvert (seriously quit arguing with me about this, I know who I am!) and the first few weeks were tough.  Even now, 2.5 years later, I prefer to spend my mornings before work not talking or interacting with others much and my evenings after work not talking or interacting with others much.  I conserve all of my energy for the front desk and the interaction it takes to do the job.  But it turns out that the "forced" interaction has been good for me.  It helped keep me from falling back into the deep depression I was in, it helped me re-enter the work of a ministry, it helped me sharpen my skill set and even further define my skills.  It also gave me the opportunity to see what kind of work had been done in me as I settled further into my skin.  It rebuilt in me a confidence that had been lost and was struggling to be found.

The decision to leave has been a hard one.  If I was ever going to leave the timing was accelerated by the changes in our family life.  I was thinking this morning about the reason why leaving is so hard for me, outside of the obvious ones of course.  And here it is.  In this particular instance obedience to God is more difficult for me because I am being asked to walk away from something that I really love, am good at, and I know is not displeasing to God.  It's something that my time is up and I don't like that one bit!  So I have had a lot of moments of second-guessing, hoping something might change, wishing I didn't hear from him as clearly as I did.  But as my time wound down at Young Life I knew deep deep down that I was being called to follow his lead and he was leading me right out of Young Life.  I don't know why exactly.  Maybe Young Life has become a comfort zone for me.  Maybe something is going to happen at Young Life that God didn't need me to witness.  Maybe all along I was only a "short timer" even though in my plans I was in it for the long haul.  I don't know.  All I know is I have had a lot of tough and emotional moments in the past 3 weeks.  And I expect I will have a few more in the weeks to come.  Introverts don't like starting over socially, well at least this introvert doesn't. It's hard for me to meet new people, it's hard for me to start over that way.  I'd rather hole up in some cave and never need to come out.  I'll be working longer days and so therefore be exerting more energy in interactions.  And for the next 6+ months I will be learning new things and really giving my brain and memory bank a work out!  There will be days that I feel incompetent and will doubt that I did hear from God about leaving.  My tough and emotional days aren't over.  But if all of those things culminate in me being exactly where God wants me to be and walking in obedience to him then I can say, even now, "I'm good."  I don't want to be anyplace other than obedience to God.  Even if it is hard and stretches me it's where I want to be if it is obedience to him.

Finally, let me tell you how God has answered a prayer of mine.  When I started at Young Life 2.5 years ago I asked people to pray for me to be a blessing to the employees and guests of Young Life.  I had no idea what I was talking about but I knew that if I was going to be a blessing then it was going to be the Jesus in me.  I didn't try to be anything or anyone other than myself, I asked God to help me be true to myself - who he created me to be - and that I would bring joy to the people I interacted with each day.  Don't get me wrong I had some bad days.  I had some days where it took everything in me to be pleasant.  I had some days where the smile on my face was more pasted on than natural and willing.  I had some days where the thought of putting on make-up and put on real clothes was overwhelming.  I had some days where my irritations boiled over and people steered clear of the front desk.  But I had some great days.  I had days in which my ability to remember someones name made their day and so therefore made mine.  I had days in which I couldn't stop smiling.  I had days in which I got to see some relief run across the face of my boss because she knew she could trust me to get the job done.  I had days that I was able to communicate value to an employee and their whole demeanor shifted.  I had more than some great days. I had many great days. And I think, just maybe, that God answered my prayer and honored my request to be a blessing.  During my final week at Young Life employees and vendors alike took time to personally communicate with me about the relationship we were able to develop in the past couple of years.  I didn't go seeking out these people, they came to me and let me know what I meant to them - a lot of them were people I didn't expect!  And on my last day God gave me a glimpse of the impact he allowed me to make at the Young Life Service Center through his grace and strength alone.  And I was blessed. I was blown away. I was humbled.  I think it was part of why the tears started and I can't quit.

No regrets.  That is sometimes an overused phrased but it applies here.  I have not one regret about my days spent at Young Life.  As I continue to reflect while I move on I may feel twinges of pain but regret won't be making an appearance.

Yeast.

We are in the "middle"* of the Feast of Unleavened Bread and I've been thinking about yeast, or leaven.  To one who reads God's command to remove the leaven from your homes, communities, and bodies without surrounding context or understanding of God the command seems...strange, weird, odd, controlling, and whatever other kind of negative connotation you can, or want to, come up with.  But to the one who reads it within surrounding context and with an understanding of God the command makes sense and speaks of God's great love for us and of his desire to see us grow in relationship with him.

If you don't know what yeast is or does let me explain because it is at the heart of this particular command - more figuratively than literally but that comes later.  Yeast is what causes bread to rise, beer to have carbonation, turns fruit juice into wine, and other things.  It feeds off of simple sugars in the product being used and breaks down those sugars which in turn causes alcohol and carbon-dioxide to form the fermentation that causes things to rise and/or bubble up.  There's the most simple explanation.

So it seems yeast is getting a bad rap with God.  I mean, what did yeast do to offend God so much?  Ah.  It didn't.  It is simply serving as a vehicle for God to teach us a bigger lesson.  Just like we use various things as props for our object lessons so God is using yeast as his prop for his object lesson with us.  He's pretty creative that way.

We first see God's command to observe a time of unleavening in Exodus and Leviticus.  It is combined or is directly on the heels of God's command to observe Passover.  Coincidence?  Oh I think not, and neither should you.  For those who might be a little hazy in their history let me give you a quick refresher on the Passover.  God moved the Israelites out of Egypt in the course of one night, after many other things had happened, and he commanded them to go and go quickly.  They didn't have time for their bread to rise before baking it so they made it without yeast and got going.  Prior to this, the pass over was the Angel of Death that passed over each home in Egypt and those who didn't have the covering of lamb's blood on their door frame lost their first born to death.  The Angel passed over those who were covered by the blood of the lamb.  (Ever heard that phrase before?  Hmmmm.)  See, if the Israelites had waited on their bread to rise they might have changed their minds and decided that the knowns of Egypt - as hard as it was - was better than the unknowns of the desert they were going to trek into.  God knew their thinking patterns and their tendencies so he made sure they had a reason to get out quick and not experience any lag time.  Yeast would have given them the lag time.

So every year God has commanded his people to observe the Feast of Unleavened Bread as a reminder that when we allow yeast to sit and rise there's time for all sorts of "trouble".  It comes on the heels of Passover as a reminder that we are or can be passed over by being covered in the blood of the Lamb.  The blood of the Lamb covers the "trouble" yeast may provide.

It is true that every day we should be aware to the figurative yeast, or leaven, in our lives that is there.  It puffs us up in the areas of phoniness, falseness, feigned virtuousness, and prideful thoughts.  Figurative leaven also appears in our lives through impure activities like porn addictions or drug abuse.  It appears in our speech through gossip and judgments passed on others.  It rises in us through what we allow ourselves to be exposed to that serves as a trigger for other damaging behaviors.  The leaven in our lives is throughout and we should be aware of it daily and removing it daily.  We should but let's be real, we don't.

We get used to the leaven in our lives.  We grow comfortable with it, it has become second nature to a lot of us.  Because of that, it is harder to pinpoint it because we don't have "eyes to see and ears to hear" most days.  I believe that is why God asks us to purposefully stop using leaven in our physical lives for one week so that we can become attune, again, to the leaven that has invaded our spiritual lives and has been allowed to rise within us all sorts of displeasing and sinful things. It takes a little bit of work to abstain from leaven in the physical and a lot of work to remove it in the spiritual.  Like everything else worth developing it is a process and mistakes will be made. 

God allowed me to see the process, spiritually, firsthand during the Feast this past week through a physical example.  I had been super mindful of the leaven in food and had been doing good at abstaining.  I was thinking through my choices and paying close attention to any places of hidden leaven.  (Rice crackers?  Totally leaven free!)  Then on day 5 (actually day 6 since sundown had come and gone) I made a mistake.  Oh not willingly, not rebelliously, not in frustration over being deprived of leaven.  I just didn't think.  I sat down after a night of cooking with my cook group and we served up the pound cake and dug in.  Didn't even think about it.  In fact, when I was almost done with slice two (quit passing judgement) it occurred to me that pound cake has leaven in it and I had just consumed it without a second thought.  Oy.  Now, you may be reading this and yelling at the screen, "Beth!  So what?!  Who cares? God doesn't really and besides there's grace.  Sheesh you are taking this a little too far."  Guess what?  You are absolutely right on the middle point, "....there's grace."  Yep.  There sure is.  There is grace and I'm so grateful for it.  And does God care that I consumed leaven?  I'm going to go with yes and no.  He asks that we, his believers and followers, observe his appointed times and the Feast of Unleavened Bread is an appointed time. But he also knows we are going to stumble and that is where his grace covers.  We can, and do, unknowingly introduce leaven into our lives without even thinking about it and by the time we realize it usually we have consumed enough of it to make a difference.

Transfer that thought to sin, as yeast/leaven is symbolic of sin.  Sin enters our lives, whether it be knowingly or not, and by the time we realize it there's enough of it in our systems to make a difference.  Right?  Right.  In fact, Paul addresses this very topic with the church of Galatians, and therefore us.  "You know what they say, “Just a little yeast causes all the dough to rise,” so even the slightest detour from the truth will take you to a destination you do not desire." (5:9, The Voice)  Another version of the Bible, The Amplified Version, says it this way, "A little leaven (a slight inclination to error, or a few false teachers) leavens the whole lump [it perverts the whole conception of faith or misleads the whole church]."  Just the slightest amount of sin will cause a detour in our life.  First it puffs up in the heart and then makes its way to our words and actions.  That's called a detour my friends.  And it's so subtle at first, almost unnoticeable.  But the smallest amount causes a large amount of "puff".  And before we know it the sin has risen to the point of over spill.  (Has that ever happened to you when baking?  It has me, I've had bread rise over the top of the bowl and spill over - what a mess!)  When we over spill we then have a mess that needs to be cleaned up.  Unfortunately sometimes we choose to stay in our mess for a season, other times we clean it up right away.  The choice is yours.  But the longer you leave the mess there the more chances you have for the yeast (sin) in your life to expand.  A few years ago I tried making a new dinner roll recipe.  I got it all mixed and nothing happened.  They didn't rise in the time they were supposed to.  I threw up my hands in frustration and we left the house and had to go buy dinner rolls (which if you know me you know I was super bugged - I prefer from scratch!).  We were late so I had left the mixed dough in the pans and baking sheets I had placed it on and planned to dispose of it when we returned home later that day.  Imagine our surprise when 12 hours later, as we walked back through our door, we came home to risen dough all over the place!  It had finally risen during our 12 hour absence and we had bread coming out of our ears!  It was everywhere!  I didn't see it coming, I thought the yeast was inactive and the dough would just sit and I could just throw it away when we returned home.  That didn't happen.  And isn't sin just like that?  We knowingly, or not, introduce it into our lives and sometimes the yeast doesn't rise right away so we are deceived into thinking we "got away with it".  But then it rises and we have a mess to deal with.

Perhaps now you can see why God, in his creativity, chose to use yeast as his prop for sin in our lives.  It works so well as a visual.  Perhaps you can maybe even now see why he asks his people (of which we who are not born Jewish are because we have been grafted in) to observe a time of unleavening in the physical to show us the leaven in our spiritual lives.  It's because he desires us to be leaven free in our relationship with him.  Any leaven in our lives hinders our communication with him.  And he desires for us to be free of that so we can clearly hear his voice in our hearts and lives.  Have you found some leaven in your life?  Psalm 51 is a great way to walk through the removal process and get back into right relationship with God.  Being in relationship with others you can trust to hold you to high standards is advisable.  (King David had Nathan, which led him to his repentance over his sin and what Psalm 51 is recording)  Being willing to shed light on the leaven in your life to expose it and kill it off is advisable.  In James 5:16 we are told to confess our sins to another so that we may pray together and find healing.  Not to be condemned by others but to be prayed for and to be introducing to healing.  This is important in remaining as leaven free as possible. I don't know about you but I want to be leaven free in my relationship with God so that my life - its words and actions - glorify his name.

Maybe in the past (meaning right before you read this post, if you've made it down this far) you've thought the command of God's to observe the Feast of Unleavened Bread was a) just for Jewish people or b) weird or c) old fashioned/antiquated/outdated/not applicable.  If so, I get it.  I'm right there with you...or I was.  Now I've allowed myself to hear from God on such commands and I've allowed him to correct my thinking and perspective on such things and guess what happened when I allowed him to do that?  I got it!  I was able to clearly see what his intent and desire was, and is, in his commands that I was placing in a,b, and c!  And what is his intent and desire?  To have a relationship with him that honors who he is and what he has done in my life.  And what he has done is so much, so to observe his commands is the least I can do.


*Okay well when I started writing the blog we were in the middle, now we are done.  {sigh} #lifegotinthewaynotimetowrite

FREE(dom) Permission Slips!

I, Beth Peninger, hereby do give you, ________________________, permission to say "no" to an invite, a request, a task, etc when the only reason you are going to say "yes" is out of forced duty, obligation, desire not to hurt feelings, etc.  Be free!  You are free to say "no"! 

_________________________________

Recently I've run into this statement, in varying forms:
"Well, I couldn't figure out how to say no without hurting their feelings." 

UM.  Let's talk shall we? 

There's lots of ways to decline without hurting feelings.  How about any one of these:

"No thanks, I've already got plans that night."  (Now.  Don't lie, so only say this if you do have plans!  If you don't have plans try one of the others so you aren't then caught lying as well.)

"No thanks but I appreciate you thinking of me!  I hope you have a good time."

"No thanks."  (Yeah, that's it, just a simple decline without explanation/justification.  Oh, that's so radical I know!)

There are other ways to nicely decline - those are just my favorite top 3. 

We've got a problem here in the good ole U.S. of A.  We think we have to have a reason why we are saying "no" and it has to be a good reason, or a good justification, or else we must go/participate/etc.  I'm about to break free your chains of bondage concerning this topic.  Are you ready for freedom?  Prepare yourself...

You don't have to give a reason, you don't have to give an excuse, you don't have to justify, you don't even have to feel bad...you are free to say "no"! 

Isn't that wild?!? 

You really can say no, nicely, and move along!  And the other person will appreciate you offering your decline without the awkward excuse or justification.  Right?  Think about a time that you issued an invite and when the person declined it felt awkward and "off".  Guess why?  'Cause they weren't being honest in their decline!  The dots are connecting aren't they?  *wink*

But, but, but Beth!  This goes against everything I've ever experienced or how I was raised!  Isn't it the polite and courteous thing, the right thing, to accept if the only reason I would say no is because I just don't want to?  UM....no.  It isn't always the "right" thing to do, accept the invite.  It isn't and who ever said it was?  See, this has been bugging me.  Who is the person who first made it seem as if the "right" thing to do was say yes when really people want to say no?  You know what that is?  People pleasing.  Oh yes, I went THERE.  And that's a whole other blog but when we say yes because we can't find a way to say no all we are doing is people pleasing.  ICK. 

So print off the above permission slip, free of charge!  Fill your name in and carry it around with you to remind yourself that you are allowed to say no and you can be nice when you do it. 

FREEDOM!  Don't you love the feel of it?! 

A year in review...Life as the Front Desk Receptionist

The last review I did was my 90 day.  A lot has happened since then!  Today marks my official 1 year with Young Life and I can't believe it.  It feels like I've been at Young Life WAY longer than a year...all in good ways I might add!  :)


Here's the summary of my life at the Front Desk in one short year. 

• I'm one of a handful of employees who knows every single employee by name and face. 
• It's really hard to mask the bad day you might be having when you are the "face" of Young Life. 
• I'm still working at being the smile in everyone's day.  I may be the only smile they get and I don't take that lightly.
• Not only have I "mastered" (haha) all employee names but a lot of our regular vendors, employee spouses, children of employees as well!  Lots of relationship building has happened in the past year! 
• My Front Desk co-worker and I continue to be the best team!  We have a great time sharing the Front Desk and its many tasks. 
• My behind doesn't resemble the chair.  :) 
• The candy smiles were a hit but I have moved on to Pop Rocks (party for the mouth) and Smarties (because we have so many smarties in the organization!).  :)
• I'm still trying to work the "cute" since I'm the afternoon face of Young Life.  :)

Highlights of the past year:

• Our department lunches!  We have a great time, lots of laughs with the Building Services Team!
• My day trip to Frontier Ranch to live a day in the life of a Young Life Camper.
• Being invited to join full time Young Life staff in Orlando in January 2012 for the All Staff Young Life Celebration...all expenses paid for both myself and Lanny!  So blessed by this show of generosity...
• Relationships that have developed and grown.  It's been a joy! 

Weirdest Tasks I performed my first year:

• Researching the average times a day a man and women use the restroom.  (Yes I am being totally serious and yes my Boss was totally serious about me researching this! The answer?  Women - 8, Men - 7)
• Researching Big Horn Sheep, Deer, and Elk Shower Curtains.  
• Inspector of chair mats.  

Biggest assumptions I have encountered from others about being at the Front Desk?
That I am bored "all of the time".  Oh sure there are days that I can't stand to be on Facebook one more second but really the majority of the time I am busy with a variety of tasks.  In fact, the last couple of weeks I haven't had much personal time at the Front Desk at all!  My 5.5 hours have been filled with work related tasks! 


The conclusion at the end of 1 year at the Young Life Front Desk? 
I LOVE MY JOB!

The silly and the sacred...questions that have me thinking! (Part 11)

Who invented bumper stickers and what did the first one say? Here's what my search showed.  Although I couldn't find out what the first one said...

Why do they call a doggie bag a, well, doggie bag?!

What does a sermon series called "America the Beautiful" have to do with scripture? Seriously!

Why do I like Iced Coffee but can't stomach the coffee in my cup when it turns cold? 

Is there an age at which a woman becomes a "ma'am"? 

How did the word "blog" come about and why? 

How long does an organization have to be in existence until it is no longer considered "grass roots"?  In my way of thinking eventually the label "grass roots" won't or doesn't apply.  ???

Fear

June 8, 2011
"The Lord God is my Strength, my personal bravery, and my invincible army; He makes my feet like hinds' feet and will make me to walk [not to stand still in terror, but to walk] and make [spiritual] progress upon my high places [of trouble, suffering, or responsibility]!" Habakkuk 3:19

I should have known when I saw the verse of the day.  I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN.  But, I didn't.  I didn't know and I went.  Perhaps it was better NOT knowing.  Less time then to squirm out of it with pitiful excuses and whining.  And believe you me, there would have pitiful excuses.  Maybe not the whining...maybe.  :) 

So here's the story.  I went to a Young Life camp, Frontier Ranch, for a day because I'm new staff and all new staff go to camp for a day in the summer so they can "get" Young Life.  I was super excited.  I was going with a great group of new staffers and having never seen or experienced Young Life in action I was grateful to get the chance.  Our group was assigned two "rides" out of the 5 at Frontier.  Each camp has "rides" for the kids to enjoy.  Frontier Ranch offers horseback riding, repelling, ropes course, go carts (along a ridge), and a ride called "The Screamer" (which a lot of the camps have a version of this ride - it is VERY popular!).  Now if you know me well then you are snickering right now wondering what in the world I got put on.  Well, let the suspense end.  We got assigned the ropes course and the go carts.  I thought, "Okay, no biggie.  I can do a ropes course. Psh." 

It was all good until I got to the ropes course.  PEOPLE.  It was 40 feet, no joke, up in the air!  FORTY FEET.  I lost my "psh" attitude immediately.  It was replaced with this vomitous knot of butterflies that really wanted to get out of my stomach.  Oh dear Lord, I thought, what do I do?  Well here's where God got pretty creative with me.  Another new staffer balked.  I mean was REFUSING to do the course.  And we did have a choice.  We didn't have to but it was strongly suggested.  This new staffer is considerably younger than me (did I really just say that? Oy.) so I, having a heart for women and mentoring and all that stuff, shoved my hesitations about the course to the side and told her she was doing it and I'd be right there with her.  We would do it together.  "But I'm so scared of heights," she says.  "So am I," I reply back, "so that's why we will do it together."  I got pretty firm and didn't let her squirm out of it, which if you notice also placed me right there as well.  This wasn't an optional activity as far as I was concerned.  For her OR for I. 

So we got ourselves all harnessed in (have you ever worn these harness things?  Oy, SO uncomfortable - like a perma wedgie, they are the worst but they keep you safe so vanity flies out the window!) and got situated on the first of 5 sections of the course.  FORTY FEET UP.  FORTY FEET!  And we began.  It was an arduous journey.  For one, the wind was pretty strong that day and forty feet up means you get caught in it.  So here I am scared to death anyway, clutching the ropes and such with a grip that made my hands ache and knuckles white, and then the wind comes along and swings me around a bit.  NOT FUN.  Sections 1 and 2 done and I breathe a bit at section 3 because it's a zip line.  Still terrified me when it actually happened but not like the course to this point.  Section 4 I thought was the easiest.  Okay it wasn't easy but I wasn't as terrified doing it as I have been to this point.  Section 5 was horrible...or so I thought.  At the end of section 5 the only way to get down is to jump.  Yes.  JUMP FORTY FEET DOWN.  Who does this?  Who thinks this is fun?  Who enjoys this torture?  Who is sick enough to think of these things? 

Here's where it got ugly.  :) 

I'm like (just remember I warned you this wasn't pretty and rather ugly), "There is no way in hell I'm jumping 40 feet down.  NO WAY."  Please.  Don't remind me about the safety harness.  Who cares?  FORTY FEET PEOPLE.  So the next 5? 10? (couldn't have been more than 10, or I hope not!) minutes were spent with a variety of people yelling encouraging things at me about jumping FORTY FEET.  My handler at the bottom (a high school student I might add, in fact all of the work crew are high schoolers) yells up at me, "Beth!  It's all good, this line can hold up to 10,000 pounds!"  'Cause that is supposed to make me feel better.  I yelled back, "Oh great!  Now I feel ready to jump!"  By this time my team below was in tears they were laughing so hard.  It was at that moment that I gripped the tree and just sweated.  (Talk about pitting out!)  The high school girl trying to convince me to let go of the tree was forced to pry my fingers off the staple in the tree and in a voice that one uses with crying toddlers she's encouraging me about jumping.  All this time I KNOW I have to jump, I have no choice.  They won't let me do the course backward so the only way to get off the course is to jump off in what they call "the leap of faith".  Indeed.  Faith.  Faith that the safety harness would actually work, that the line rumored to hold up to 10,000 pounds was going to hold me and my weight (which admittedly is not the lowest I've ever been, just sayin'), that the handler knew what she was doing with this crazy 36 year old.  Faith.  Indeed.  There's a trapeze bar that you are supposed to aim for when jumping.  Straight out it's five feet away (I'm about 5'2") and if you arc when you jump then it's about seven feet away.  It looked about a million miles away to me.  My fingers were successfully pried off the tree and I, with my heart in my throat, on the count of 3 jumped.  Sort of.  The new staffer that I did this with?  She jumped, did this beautiful Superman kind of leap through the air and her fingers even brushed the bar. I?  Well.  I...jumped, at least it felt like a jump until I saw the picture.  It doesn't look like a jump or even a leap and I came nowhere near the bar but I was airborne for a few seconds!  I believe I screamed all the way down to the ground and when I landed on the ground I seriously contemplated kissing it.  It actually ran through my mind. 
Then came The Screamer.  (Wait, Beth, what about the go carts?  Yeah we nixed those in favor of this terror filled ride.)  I actually thought at the ropes course that The Screamer would be nothing after leaping 40 feet into the air.  Ha.  And HA again.  The vomitous butterflies had returned and I was instantly regretting the ice cream I had eaten a few minutes prior.  But along with the butterflies was this determination that I was going to do this, even if I looked like a wimp - oh, wait I had already accomplished THAT on the ropes course.  :)  So once again the safety harnesses went on and I found myself standing at a ledge and looking at a drop that was WAY more than 40 feet.  This time I was strapped in to a swing along with two other women and on the count of 3 we all had to step off the ledge at the same exact time with the same foot and away we would go, swinging through the air.  DEAR LORD.  Am I crazy?!?  Terrifying is an understatement.  I don't know that I can come up with an adequate word for this death trap called "fun".  According to my sources the second I stepped off the ledge I squeezed my eyes shut, opened my mouth to emit loud screams, and flung my arms around the bars of the swing and hung on for dear life.  Said sources also said that I didn't stop screaming for at least 2 minutes and that I kept my death grip for the duration of the ride.  I didn't open my eyes until it felt like a normal swing and not like a death swing.  Again, I had people in tears from laughter.  Soooo glad I could provide the comic relief...
Oh but the fun didn't end there.  Once the swing came to a stop, thank you Jesus, we had to be unlatched.  So my two friends are unlatched and slip gracefully out of the swing to the ground.  Me?  Yeah.  The high school boy unlatches me and I start to slip out and find myself caught on something.  But I have slipped too far down to pull myself back into the swing so I'm...stuck.  The only option?  The high school boy has to lift me by my butt to free me.  More hysterics coming from my team.  SIGH.  It's a good thing I haven't had issues with my pride 'cause this would've put me over the edge! 

So, Beth.  What's the point of this story?  I mean it was good for a laugh and we appreciate that you put yourself out there for mocking but you always have a point so...what is it? 
Gosh.  You guys know me SO well.  While I have, by publishing this, opened up the door for mocking (and I do deserve the mocking so you have permission to do so!) I DO also have a deeper purpose in exposing my humiliation.  :) 

We all have a fear of something or someone or both!  And most of us, in my observations, have a fear of more than one thing.  Also according to my observations the only way to eradicate the fear is to confront it head on.  Confront it, show it who is boss, tell it off and replace it with strength.  Fear saps us of our courage, of energy, of our very self in some cases.  And worst of all, fear controls us when WE should be controlling it. 

I have a list of things I know I'm fearful of, things that shouldn't have control over me but do and in ways I don't understand and am trying to confront.  It's not a long list but long enough to be controlled instead of victorious. 

At some point God gives us chances to confront our fears.  Usually our fears present themselves as big looming mountains that feel and look impossible to conquer.  We think, "There's NO way."  But the good news is there IS a way, there is always a way because God shows us the way, he is THE way. No matter what the fear is, it presents itself as this insurmountable obstacle in our life and the only way to confront it is to scale it and reach the summit of it. 

So.  Strap on your gear (I prefer God, a Bible, and a good group of people who are willing to go the distance with me) and put one foot in front of the other and get going.  It will be hard.  It will be downright scary.  It will make you sweat.  It may make you swear.  (Hey let's just be real.)  It will be time consuming.  It will stretch you.  You'll use muscles that you haven't in a while.  You will most likely be out of breath at times.  I'm willing to bet a tear or two will make it's way down your face.  You will have to sacrifice some personal comfort not to mention your pride.  But you CAN and you WILL summit (thereby conquering) the fear if you persevere.  And at the summit you will be able to stake your claim on the fear and declare victory over it.  It might not be the prettiest execution of something, it may get pretty ugly, it may appear ungraceful.  WHO CARES?  The point is to do it, no matter how ugly it looks getting done it still will get done.  Trust me.  It was REALLY ugly as I was confronting my fear of heights.  But I did it and in the end that is all that matters.  God doesn't care how graceful we are in the process, he doesn't care how smooth we look, he ignores the tears and snot that have mingled and dried on our face.  He's just proud when we stand on the summit of our fear and declare victory.  And guess what?  You will be proud too.  In the end you won't care either about your lack of grace, your whimpering, your snot and tears.  TRUST ME. 

Just do it. 

"The Lord God is YOUR Strength, YOUR personal bravery, and YOUR invincible army; He makes YOUR feet like hinds' feet and will make YOU to walk [not to stand still in terror, but to walk] and make [spiritual] progress upon YOUR high places [of trouble, suffering, or responsibility]!" Habakkuk 3:19





Yes.  That is pure terror on my face.
Yes.  I didn't even come close to the bar and I'm okay with that!
(Want to really see the terror?  Click on the picture to enlarge!) 




It appears I prayed all the way down.  :)



Never in my life have I been so happy to be on dirt.  Never I tell you. 




The Screamer. That's me far right with my arms wrapped as tightly as possible around the bar.  What you can't see, or hear, is the screaming that exited my mouth and didn't cease for at least 2 minutes.  Pure terror all over again. 



The silly and the sacred...questions that have me thinking! (Part 10)

Is the red-eye flight called a red-eye because everyone who gets off the flight does so with red-eyes from lack of sleep?

Do mobile home parks have homing devices on them that call the tornados to them?!?

Can someone, anyone, please explain to me (or perhaps try to justify to me and yourself) how a cafe, landscaping, expensive furniture etc etc etc in Churches fulfills Jesus command to take care of the widow, orphan, hungry and thirsty?

Why do we get itches?  Is it the nerve endings?  Something else?

cbs.com reports that we send 294 billion emails and 5 billion texts A DAY. Is it any wonder that nobody knows how to write legibly by hand any longer? Ridiculous.

Does an apple a day REALLY keep the Doctor away?  (Here's what one search on Google yielded)

Why do we let high standards scare us instead of inspire us?

How long do you really think you can straddle that fence? 

Bloomberg Business Week reports that 56% of United States office employees confess to taking home office supplies for home use.  Here's my question.  REALLY?  What are "you" doing with office supplies at home? Do "you" have a side biz that you need them for or do "you" just use them to stick it to your company? I mean really.  A normal homeowner who doesn't work out of their home doesn't have a whole lot of use for office supplies.  I just find it SO weird.  Not to mention that is STEALING.  So there's my second question, do "you" know you are willfully stealing from your workplace and can get fired for that?

The silly and the sacred...questions that have me thinking! (Part 9)

Have you ever found it "painful" to put on clothes for the day?  :)  "Painful" on a mental/emotional, physical, or even spiritual level?  (And now I'm wondering if the answer to this question is why there are nudist colonies...)

Do people know that the doctrines they are so tied to aren't necessarily GOD'S doctrines?  Just sayin'.

What is the point of perforation on things (i.e. paper towels, checks...) if it doesn't work? 

Following Jesus is really very simple, so why have we/do we complicate it so?

When do you use the spelling grey and the spelling gray?  Are the two spellings interchangeable or is there some sort of protocol?  :)

What I lack for in education I make up for in heart.  Which one matters most to God? (Rhetorical question, I already know the answer but do you? *smile*)

I saw a sticker on a car.  "Twilight Mom"  Really?  What is up with middle aged women being obsessed with a teen fiction series?  It seems awfully unhealthy to me...just sayin'.

If my parents hadn't married each other would I still be in existence and if so, would one of them be one of my parents or would I belong to completely different people?  You know what I'm saying?  :)

Why do "we" sing songs telling God who he is?  He knows who he is! 

Sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me...REALLY?

"Sticks and stones may break my bones

but names will never hurt me." 

We all grew up being taught this. 
As an adult I just listen to that and can't help but say...
REALLY?!?  I DON'T THINK SO! 


When I look back on my life to this point I don't remember the physical injuries people may have dealt me but I sure do remember the verbal injuries I have been dealt.  Every "moo" that was directed my way in Middle School echoes in my brain and heart to this very day.  Every word that has been spoken to me that communicated lack of worth/value, lack of purpose, or lack of contribution has wrapped their sticky tentacles around my heart and soul and acted as an anaconda, squeezing the life out of me - or threatening to. 


I've never been a domestic abuse victim but from my observations what the victims have the harder time healing from is the words dealt them along with the physical blows.  Oh sure, there is going to be some residual fear from the physical abuse.  But verbal abuse is a weapon that drives far below the surface and strikes at the very core of who that person is.  Verbal abuse attacks the character and personality, it introduces a death, it clings to a person and covers them like a blanket and then smothers them.  Sticks and stones may break our bones but names will always hurt.  ALWAYS. 


"Kind words heal and help; cutting words wound and maim."  (Proverbs 15:4)  Another translation says that we can speak either words of life (the kind ones, the ones that are truthful but communicated in love) or we can speak words of death (I'm pretty sure I don't need to clarify anything on this one).  I'm willing to bet that each of us have been on both sides - we have spoken words of life and death (be honest) and we have been the recipients of words of life and death.  As a recipient it's easy to see how kind words heal and help and cutting words wound and maim but let's take it a step further in the interest of being more like Christ.  :)  (Not interested in being more like Christ?  Then take it a step further in the interest of being a better human.  But if you are curious about being more like Christ, let's talk.) 


Okay, so we are stepping out a bit...


I'm thinking about the times I have spoken words of life to people I love, and more importantly, I think, to people I don't love so much.  (Just bein' real.)  I walked away feeling good, feeling settled in my spirit.  Speaking words of life doesn't leave a taste of regret in my mouth or a heaviness in my heart.  In fact, a lot of times the words of life I speak over someone end up helping and healing ME in some way!  So, now it's your turn.  How have you felt when you have spoken words of life - truth in kindness - to someone? 


I started with words of life because that's a whole lot more fun and enjoyable to think about than the words of death we are all guilty of uttering.  C'mon, it's okay to be real.  :)  So, words of death. 
Just like words of life, I have spoken words of death to people I love and people I don't so much.  (Still bein' real.)  Words of death are interesting because as humans we tend to speak them as much to people that we love as we do to people that we don't whereas words of life we reserve more for people we love.  Some switch in us is flipped that tells us it's "okay" to speak cutting words to people we love because they won't leave us.  HUH.  I have never understood this about human nature but I, unfortunately, have fallen into that trap a "time or two" (or three hundred...ugh).  Walking away from speaking words of death, because let's face it - I know better and I knew somewhere in me that they weren't kind but rather cutting, finds me feeling icky, unsettled in my spirit.  Speaking words of death always leaves a bad taste in my mouth and a heavy heart.  YUCK.  And just like words of life that I speak end up helping me in some way, words of death that I speak end up wounding or cutting ME in some way.  DOUBLE YUCK.  So, now it's your turn.  How have you felt when you have spoken words of death - words that wound and destroy - to someone? 

{Remember this self -evaluation is in the interest of being a better human or being more like Christ - or heck, both - and will only work if you are brutally honest with yourself about yourself!  Nobody else is going to know the answer so you might as well be honest!}  


Does it mean we can't speak truth to someone?  Nope.  It means we speak truth in the kindest way possible because that's how we want truth communicated to us and we know, deep down, that is how truth is best received - if it's going to be received.  Will or can kind words offend?  Yep.  But the offense is always meant for the betterment of that person and they know it as we speak it. 

Words of life = healthy, growing relationships
Words of death = death of relationships

Do you feel caught in the trap of speaking words of death?  Seek help, seek accountability, before you utter a word think it through, consider the words you want to speak being spoken to you - would you like it? 
Do you feel like the words of death spoken over you are attempting to squeeze the life out of you?  Seek help, seek Truth, reject the lies. 
To end, a song - of course!  This is Dave Barnes singing, "Sticks And Stones" (video/song at bottom of lyrics)

You would have kept those words on your tongue,


If you had known the hurt they had done.


While your fists stay by, right by your side,


Your words they bruise me deep inside.




I'd rather have sticks and stones and broken bones


than the words you say to me,


Cause I know bruises heal and cuts will seal


but your words beat the life from me.




Sometimes your words are thick as lead,


You swing them strong upside my head.


But what hasn't killed has made me strong,


So I'll take my scars and move along.



I'd rather have sticks and stones and broken bones


than the words you say to me,


Cause I know bruises heal and cuts will seal


but your words beat the life from me.




Goodbye is the best way that I know,


To forgive and still be letting go.




I'd rather have sticks and stones and broken bones


than the words you say to me,


Cause I know bruises heal and cuts will seal


but your words beat the life from me.

Hey, how many of those camels need water anyway?!

A long ago friend shared something with me long ago.  And I have found it to be a useful piece of counsel to share with others through the years, I almost exclusively use it with single people who are wondering if they are ever going to find Mr. or Mrs. Right.  BUT it hit me a while ago that really the counsel is good for anyone who feels caught in the middle of a huge waiting game with God or more accurately is disgruntled with God because they aren't getting to do what they think they should be doing "for" God.  The counsel comes directly from Genesis 24 and the story of Isaac and Rebekah.  (Click here to read the real story)  The Beth Brief (quit snickering, I can be brief when I wanna be) Summary is this: Abe wants his boy to get a woman.  Abe sends his servant to get the boy a woman.  This makes the servant nervous so he asks God for help picking the right woman.  God helps, the servant picks a woman, and the boy gets the girl. 
And here's where you go...WHAT?!?  Okay fine.  I folded under the pressure to prove I could be brief but let me expand a wee bit more.  Abe didn't want his boy, Isaac, to be without a woman when he (Abe) died.  And for whatever reason Isaac wasn't looking for his own woman so Abe took it in his own hands and sent his head servant out with instructions to not return unless he has a woman for Isaac.  The scared ?, intimidated ?, nervous ? servant implored the God of his master to help him by showing him through a specific sign who the Mrs. Right was.  A woman showed up to water her camels and fulfilled the specific sign (think of it like God pointing a finger at her and saying to the servant, "THAT'S HER.").  She agreed to marrying Isaac, sight unseen (and that's a whole different blog), and Isaac got himself a woman. 
Okay.  Now that you've got a wee bit more of the story let's dig in. 
So many times when this passage is taught in churches the focus is the faith of the servant.  Or it is about Isaac and Abe in some way.  Rarely is Rebekah looked at.  Guess what?  :)  I'm looking at Rebekah. 
If you read the real story, answer this question: what was Rebekah doing when she showed up at the watering hole to water the camels?  The surface, duh Beth answer is she was watering the camels.  Okay BUT who told her to water them?  Well, her father of course!  So what was Rebekah doing?  She was being obedient to her Father by doing what he asked.  She wasn't sitting around waiting for a better task to come along or for someone else to come around to do it for her.  It isn't said in the story if Rebekah was also wondering about Mr. Right.  Was she also keeping her eyes peeled for one?  Or was she indifferent to the idea (which I hardly doubt considering the importance her culture placed on being a wife and bearing children)?  I wish we could have a little more of Rebekah's take on this whole circumstance.  But we don't.  All we have is what we have.  So let's go with it, because we can. 
Let me ask you a question, and at first you might be tempted to answer with a, "Duh, Beth..." but resist the temptation and think before you speak please!  :)  What has God asked YOU to do...today?  Right now at this very moment?  What "camels" has he commissioned you to water today?  Now here's another question, how exciting or personally fulfilling do you think it was for Rebekah to be watering the camels?  (Not to mention the amount of time and work it takes to water a herd of camels!)  And so transfer that question to yourself, how exciting or personally fulfilling is it for you to be where you are at right now?  When God asks us to obey it isn't so we will be excited and personally fulfilled.  He's got a bigger plan and a bigger mission in mind than our personal excitement or fulfillment.  It isn't about us, it's about HIM.  Rebekah wasn't watering the camels because she was personally excited about that task or personally fulfilled by it.  She was doing it because she understood obedience to her Father.  Do I understand obedience to my Father?  Do you?  "But Beth..."  But Beth nothing.  You know what has excited me about watering the camels God asks me to?  That I obeyed him and didn't moan and groan while doing so.  You know what I have found personally fulfills me?  When I obey my DAD with a pure and joyful heart.  See, some camels that God has asked me to water haven't been so fun.  They've "spit" at me, they've gone "stubborn" on me, I've been under appreciated by them, the watering hole was hot and dusty, the isolation just about did me in.  But funny thing.  On the other side of the watering hole was something I couldn't see, only God knew about and it changed my life forever.  Rebekah's life was changed forever by obeying her Dad and showing up at the watering hole.  Is it possible that my life, that your life could be changed by a pure and joyful obedience to God's request to water camels?  Is it possible?  Yes.
Yes it's possible when we aren't begrudging the Lord for the camels he's asked us to water while we wait.  That's the other side of this.  We want to be doing bigger, better, and what we think are more important things "for God" than this watering hole we feel stuck at right now.  Hmm.  We have placed a value on the types and kinds of work there is out there to do.  And we think that because God sends off to water a big camel that we will always water big camels so we get disappointed, irritable, frustrated when he then asks us to water what we perceive to be small camels.  Just a quick question that I've had to answer already so I thought I would pose to you:  who are you to tell God which camels are more important than others?  Do you realize that whining to God about the perceived small camels you are watering right now is basically telling him that he doesn't know what he's doing?  So you feeling gutsy enough to tell God that he isn't sovereign?  Because that is what you are saying to him. 
I've sat in counseling offices and counseled women in a "professional" setting and I've sat in coffee houses and counseled women in a "casual" setting.  For a (very) short season it felt like a demotion of sorts.  To go from being officially recognized as a counselor to well, counseling by word of mouth!  I felt whiny about it until I held my first un-official counseling session in a coffee shop and that shut me up.  God so clearly showed me the benefits of the coffee house "watering hole" over the office one that I came away relieved to not be stuck in the office one anymore!  Perspective.  It felt like I was going from big to small but in God's reality I was being promoted.  I'm gifted administratively.  I'm wired to be an admin assist and let me tell you, I am a GOOD one.  So why aren't I someones admin assist and instead sitting behind a front desk spending my working hours greeting people?  I mean, God didn't I do good enough watering those big camels?  Why would you ever ask me to sit behind a front desk and virtually let my admin skills go unused?  Why God have you forsaken me?  (You all know I'm just saying all this to make a point right?)  The front desk might seem like small camels and a small watering hole to me or to others BUT it's no less important than the job I have done before as an admin assist, which some would say was big camels and big watering hole.  Perspective. What if the watering hole you say and feel "stuck" at right now is actually a promotion in God's Kingdom?  Are you still going to begrudge God because you have a higher view of yourself than you ought? 
The nitty-gritty of the counsel out of Genesis 24 is this:  obey your Dad with a pure heart and a joyful spirit and water the camels he's told you to and watch him reward you in unexpected and life-changing ways. 

RSVP - seriously!

Okay, because this is my blog and I can talk about pretty much whatever I want I have to take a moment and vent.  And yes, for the record this would be a convo I would have in a coffee house. 

People.  When a host/hostess asks for a RSVP they really do need to hear from you.  And an RSVP doesn't mean just if you are coming.  It means to respond with either a yes or a no.  SHEESH.  (Don't believe me?  Click here for the lowdown.)  It is one of my major pet peeves.  It is rude and insensitive to the party planners who are trying to most likely stay within a budget, perhaps plan special favors for the attendees, etc.  How long can it really take for you to repsond with a voice mail, email, or text that yes or no you will be attending the event you were invited to? 

ARG! 

Facebook for Dummy Parents

With the oldest redheaded wonder officially entering the teen years Lanny and I have entered a whole new season of parenthood.  And with the technology of today, part of that season happens to be Facebook.  Of course, Lanny is the smart one out of us and refuses to get on Facebook.  Me?  I'm more optimistic that I will be one of those parents that can bridge the gap between embarrassing parent and cool parent.  Um.  Yeah.  I guess not.  At least this is according to the oldest redhead. 

On April 12 we sat down together and I helped her set up her account (yes, all privacy settings are as high as I can get them on FB, no worries people!) and I wrote a message on her wall welcoming her.  That seemed to be okay so I wrote another one later on.  Apparently THAT was pushing it.  The next morning I thought she might want some pics of her and her art on her page so I went through and tagged a bunch of pics I have of her.  QUIT LAUGHING.  She didn't say don't do it so how was I to know?  Her text to me later that afternoon went something like this:
Oldest Redheaded Wonder:  O Mom u did not
Me:  Did not what?
Oldest Redhead: Wat did u do?
Me:  What are you talking about?  I haven't done anything!
Oldest Redhead:  There r pics of me on fb
Me:  Oh yeah, I thought you'd want some of you for profile pics and stuff.
Oldest Redhead: Dont evr do it again. U need to ask me first
Me:  Um, what?  Are you saying that I the mom have to ask you the daughter for permission to post pics of you on FB? 
Oldest Redhead: Yep

I was perplexed.  They were cute pics of her.  So about this time a teen boy comes in to work (who I am also friends with on FB btw) and I ask him if its so bad that I tagged pics of her.  He just laughed.  I asked if he was friends with his parents on FB, his answer was yes.  I then asked well do they post pics of you and he gave me the strangest look and said nope.  Huh.  Seems my learning curve on this one has just begun. 

So here it is.  For all you parents out there about to enter the teen waters and the world of Facebook with your teens...

Facebook Tips for Dummy Parents:

1. Don't tag your newly teenaged child in any of the pics you have on your page of them.  Apparently this is a huge no-no. 
2. Don't refer to your child at all in any status update because someone might accidently see it and smirk in their direction.  This will label you as the "embarrassing parent". 
3. If you feel the urge to write on their wall then limit it to something like, "Wat up?" Do NOT, and I repeat NOT, write on their wall how awesome they are or how much you love them or heaven forbid how handsome/cute they are.  This is possible grounds for de-friending by your own flesh and blood. 
4. By using proper grammer you will be made fun of by your child who writes in some sort of code that doesn't include vowels for the most part.  Be prepared for the mockery. 
5. Don't ever expect your child to write on your wall or even visit your page.  You may have given birth to them but in the world of FB you are equals and you are, GASP, old! 

After that day in which I was reprimanded by my child for basically thinking that she was cool I have thought the best approach to co-habitating on Facebook peacefully is to just leave her be.  Oh sure, I skim by her page every so often but you'll not see my mark anywhere on there.  I leave the hugs and kisses and affirmations for public, like when she's getting out the car in the mornings and all her school buddies are standing right there. 

Oh.  That's not acceptable either?!? 

Stunted Growth

Much education today is monumentally ineffective. All too often we are giving young people cut flowers when we should be teaching them to grow their own plants.

John W. Gardner

How many future artists, entrepreneurs, engineers, musicians, athletes, philosophers, pastors, noble prize winners, politicians, etc have we "buried"? 
"What Beth?  What are you talking about?  "I" haven't buried anyone!" 
Perhaps we haven't but "we" (as in the world) have.  We have buried our future under a mountain of depravity.  Our futures are suffocating under all the weight of this world.  The weight of poverty, addictions, money, fear, hopelessness, lack of education and so many other weights that can be and are specific to different countries and cultures. 


A few months ago I watched a docu (Born into Brothels) in which kids of Indian (India) prostitutes were seeking out a better and different life than the brothel they were being raised in.  It was amazing to me that these children knew that the life their mothers (and grandmothers and great-grandmothers) were living wasn't going to get them anywhere.  One of the boys, it turns out, is a brilliant artist!  I mean really amazing.  But living in that brothel, destined to follow in the footsteps of his drug dealing, prostituting family he wasn't going to be able to share his art with the world.  It, and he, were getting buried.  Whatever light was shining from him was slowly, day by day, getting snuffed out.  So what to do? 


An interesting thing is happening here in America.  Slowly our school music and art programs are getting snuffed out.  The "budget" doesn't allow for those things any longer.  Huh.  Can you guess what is next?  Yeah, that would be physical education.  In fact, I know of some schools in Colorado who already have cut it out plus recess!  So if "we" remove the art classes, the music classes, and the PE classes then what have "we" done?  We have buried future artists, musicians, and athletes, amongst other careers. We have buried our children and our futures under a mountain of depravity. Franklin D. Roosevelt said, "The school is the last expenditure upon which America should be willing to economize."  Apparently todays' education administrators haven't taken FDR's thoughts very seriously even though he was 100% correct.  In America the depravity consists mostly of money.  We have valued money over our children and their futures, our futures.  *Can I ask, why doesn't the "budget" allow for those programs any longer?  I'll tell you why.  (Oh yeah it was a total rhetorical question!)  Because district superintendents have hefty salaries.  Seriously.  I am so tired of hearing about schools - private and public - who are raising costs, cutting vital programs, laying off teachers, offering the lowest quality of food possible, etc and yet the supers are still sitting pretty with their hefty salaries.  Tell me, Superintendent, do you really NEED that hefty salary that is no doubt paying for your sports car, huge house, and country club.  C'mon.  Get rid of the sports car, the huge house, and the country club and start thinking about the kids - for real.  We don't want any more lip service from you about how much you care about the education of children.  PROVE IT. 
Another mountain that has buried our American children is the severely skewed "No Child Left Behind" act that introduced some of the worst testing ever.  I have a whole soapbox I could stand on about this particular attempt to make sure no child gets left behind.  In regards to this particular post, the problem is that in an attempt to make sure no child was left behind (a phrase, btw, that I can't stand since it represents so much contradiction) in math and science (because by golly we have to beat the Chinese at everything) we put our children behind in everything else!  Art, Music, PE - these are vital parts of developing a well-rounded human being.  In fact look at some of these statistics regarding art education (art and music).  Kids who are able to have art education are:
* 4 times more likely to be recognized for academic achievement
* 3 times more likely to be elected to class office within their schools
* 4 times more likely to participate in a math and science fair
* 3 times more likely to win an award for school attendance
* 4 times more likely to win an award for writing an essay or poem
Young artists, as compared with their peers, are likely to:
* Attend music, art, and dance classes nearly three times as frequently
* Participate in youth groups nearly four times as frequently
* Read for pleasure nearly twice as often
* Perform community service more than four times as often


Those kind of facts point to a well-rounded person.  Regurgitating math and science facts so that a stupid test can be passed doesn't a well-rounded person make.  Just sayin'.  The fact of the matter is that we have left our children behind when it comes to being expressive, creative, well-rounded, cultured because we have removed the very opportunities they had to experiment.  Why do we think we have to turn our children and therefore future adults into robots instead of expressive, well-adjusted humans?  Not only have we left our children behind and done them a great disservice but we have buried them under "our" drive for competition as well as money. 


In countries like India the children are getting buried by lack and in countries like America the children are getting buried by greed.  In either case a burial is occurring.  It is a burial of our future artists, entrepreneurs, engineers, musicians, athletes, philosophers, pastors, noble prize winners, politicians, etc.


What should we do about it?  What can we do about it?  The University of Michigan - GO BLUE! - published an article about what we can do.  Click here to read it.  It's worth the read I promise!  But the bottom line of the article is your first step of action is to get involved at the local level with your district.  Don't allow your district to think that you don't care about the children in the community becoming well-rounded, well-educated humans.  And my further challenge on this is that if you are a homeschooling family still get involved and fight for all the children in your community.  Because while your children are your future so are the other children.  So fight for them!  If your district plugs their ears and favors the Super's heavy salary and CSAP teaching over well-rounded children then go to plan B.  Search for a local organization that might be offering arts education after school or on weekends.  (An example would be Wingspan Arts in NYC - check 'em out for ideas!)  Get creative!  (After all we adults, or most of us 25 and older, got a well-rounded education in school and should know how to be creative.)  If there isn't a local organization but YOU know some musicians, some artists, some theater people ask them if they'd be willing to do a child friendly workshop once a month or something.  Something is better than nothing.  Check into music lessons, acting lessons, art lessons, etc lessons for your children as extra curricular if there is no organization.  Do something to help your children and other children become all that they can be. 

The boy in India?  Wondering what happened with him?  Well a woman by the name of Zana started teaching beginning photography to a group of these brothel kids in India a few years back.  It's grown into an organization, Kids With Cameras, and this boy attended the class and was essentially rescued out of the downward spiral he was living in.  10 years later he's studying at NYU and is in the midst of creating a positive life for himself and future generations of his family.  (Click here for the update on him)  And to think it all started with...art education. 

Which would you rather have? 

A generation, or more, of children who are "cut flowers" or "blooming, flourishing plants"? 

******************************************
For informative articles on the death of art education in America click here and here.

For further statistics on education click here.
For further information on art budget cuts click here. And here. 
For teacher testimonials and further reasons why art is important click here.
For information on how to make arts education a priority in your school district click here. (PDF file)
For Current Art News click here.



*I realize that I only present two reasons for the budget cuts and there are, in each district, many more reasons than the two I present here.  And I also realize that not ALL Super's are getting hefty salaries, that there are a few who have good intentions.  Unfortunately those well intentioned Super's are getting the heave-ho these days in favor of, yes you guessed it, the bottom dollar.  Kinda like what has happened to our Farmers...but that's a whole different blog! :) 

In this little room

From my heart to yours...just replace songs and singing with writing stories and speaking.  :) Can I sing?  Actually yes but do I want to?  Actually no!  This song has always been a "theme" song of mine for writing.  I always pray that I only speak what God wants me to and it accomplishes a work far greater than I and that I could ever imagine or hope for because it doesn't come from me.  It all comes from HIM.