Lessons for my daughter

I have managed to get both of my daughters "addicted" to Starbucks! Lanny isn't too thrilled but it's a great place to go to have a cheap date with them!

So I take my daughters on dates to Starbucks because they have no problem talking for any length of time! Lanny would say they take after me. Boy, is he in trouble as they get older. Hehehe......

I picked a Saturday and took Mikaela for a date. She picked the place - Starbucks - and I picked what we would talk about - how God made her special. She got a hot chocolate and I needed caffeine that morning so I got a strong coffee.

Mikaela is 8 1/2 years old and wonderful. Beautiful auburn hair, freckles that scatter across her nose and cheeks (we say they are souvenirs from Walt Disney World - she had no freckles at all until we went there!), a very compassionate heart, an amazing artistic talent, an excellent reader, a loyal and good friend. And she's a pre-teen. Already. I think that category starts younger and younger with each passing year.

When Mikaela was in first grade she put on a pair of cute jeans I had bought her and burst into tears. I was confused. I finally got it out of her - she thought the jeans made her look fat. WHAT?!?!? In first grade? Where did this thought, this idea spring from? Lanny shoots me dirty looks as if it is my fault but it's not. It's our world and the emphasis, even in first grade, that we must look a certain way. I told her that she didn't have to wear the jeans again, I'd save them for Eliana. But that concerned me, this was starting way too early. I wasn't prepared. I'm not prepared.

This led to the idea that on our dates I had better start getting her heart in the right place concerning who she is and how she looks. So that Saturday morning we sat in a Starbucks and started to talk. I have a book called, "Just Mom and Me Having Tea" and it's a fun devotional book for moms and daughters to do together and it's all about how God made us and how special we are.

Chapter 1: God Made Me Special.
"You made me and formed me with your hands. I praise you because you made me in an amazing and wonderful way. What you have done is wonderful. I know this very well." (Psalm 119:73, 139:14) Wait a minute. What's this? Why do I have tears in MY eyes? Oh well, I just must be emotional today or something. Okay, let's get to the study.
"Seeing myself as being someone special takes clear thinking. I can't be full of pride over who I am, but God's love does set me apart. And I'm learning that if I know I'm special in God's sight, my daughter will follow in my footsteps." (Lori Wick) What is going on with me today? What is my problem? Shoot, now I need a Kleenex. Yes, Mikaela I'm fine. I'm really okay.
"God looked at everything he had made, and said it was very good." (Genesis 1:31) God? Really? Right now, this very moment, you look at me and call me very good? But God don't you look in the mirror when I do? Don't you see? I see and I'm not sure I would call it very good! And then there's the stuff nobody else can see but I do. Are you sure even I am included in that "very good"? Okay, okay. Fine. You look at me and call me very good. Huh. I think I'm going to have to chew on that a little longer - yes I know I have been chewing on it for years but just a little longer? No? Why not? Yes, of course I believe you and yes of course I believe all that you have created is good! Oh, that includes me. Well, if it helps, my head does know that but my heart is having a hard time connecting with that. Why? Well, I don't know why. I guess because I am unhappy with my body and the roller coaster it is on continuously, I guess because I see women who are so beautiful and then here I am - 5'2", boring dark hair, face still breaking out like a teenager's, body size going up and down. What? Oh yeah Mikaela I'm fine. Sorry. Okay where were we?
What are two or three things you like about yourself? I can do this - no problem. After all I have greatly improved over the past year! I can even tell people thank you when they compliment me and not roll my eyes at the same time! I like my curly hair, my toes (!), and the color of my eyes. Okay, I agree the last one is a stretch. Really I could only think of two but I threw the last one in cause I don't not like the color of my eyes! Plus Mikaela thought of three things she liked about herself and so I felt the "pressure" to do the same! Okay, this isn't so bad. And really God I do like my curly hair and I really do like my cute toes! I actually like my height, I don't mind being short - I fit Lanny perfectly. I think the tears have passed. Whew. Crying in the middle of a busy, crowded Starbucks is kind of the last thing I wanted to do today. Moving on. We have to pray for each other? No problem!
Uh oh, problem. My sweet Mikaela is praying for me and I'm crying AGAIN. What is WRONG with me today? Yes, I hear you God. I think I'm beginning to get it. I'm special just like Mikaela is. Yes, I get what you are saying - the lesson isn't just for Mikaela. Her mommy needs it to. Thanks God, I needed my heavenly daddy to speak to me this day. The lesson was for two daughters, not just one.

Oh, and God? I really do like my curls, so thanks!!!

Discovering Divine Design

We can all see God in exceptional things, but it requires the growth of spiritual discipline to see God in every detail. Never believe that the so-called random events of life are anything less than God's appointed order. Be ready to discover his divine designs anywhere and everywhere.

- Oswald Chambers -

My addition:
Even a simple cup of coffee can turn into a divine design, be ready for the discoveries!

As if another reason was necessary...

There are a few things my husband, Lanny, does that tells me just how much he loves me. One of them is sitting in a coffee house with me. When we were dating I found out he didn't even like the smell of coffee much less the taste - and yet I still married him! That's okay because he found out on the same date that I am a total wimp and don't like spicy foods at all. So I figure we are even! Now we go on a date night every Wednesday night and pretty much we end up at Starbucks - I'm just a little obsessed. So anyways, the point is that my husband shows me he loves me by willingly sitting in a Starbucks with me for upwards of two hours so that we can talk and be together. SIGH. Now that's love.

It was a colder night in March and we decided to go on a date. Since we are "financially challenged" the date was a luxury for me and a show of love for him. We ended up at "my" Starbucks and even scored the comfy chairs! He got a hot chocolate and I got...something. Perhaps a Chai that night so he would kiss me later on! We settled in and began to talk. We had been taking a marriage class at church and there was this list we were given of 55 questions for a husband to ask his wife so he could get to know her better. So we thought we'd talk through a couple of them.

Question 1 - What is your favorite color and why? So many times we stop at what is your favorite color but did you ever take it a step further and ask why? My answer: purple, because it reminds me of Christ and the choice that he made for me and everyone else.

During our conversation I noticed Lanny moving around and so I finally asked, "What are you doing?"
And he sheepishly looked at me and said, "What?"
I said, "Why are you moving around like that?"
And then he told me. Now mind you, we had been married for 8 1/2 years at this time and so one would think that we knew each others habits pretty well by this time. I found out we didn't! Here's what he had to say. "I'm centering myself."*
WHAT?!?!
So I asked, "What do you mean?"
And he went on to say that whenever he sits down, lays down, or is standing - so pretty much whenever - he has to center himself with the person he is looking at or with an object.
WHAT?!?!
I had never noticed him doing it before but I do now! And what is so funny is that he does it without really thinking about it and so whoever he is talking to will give him strange looks at times because he is concentrating first on "centering" himself with someone.

That was one of the best date nights we have ever had. He learned something about me (and remembers it to this day!) and I learned something about him. I guess my sister-in-law is right, marriage is a marathon not a sprint. We have a long lifetime of learning about one another. It took me about 7 years into our marriage to discover his favorite kind of cake.

So, if you're married go on a date! Grab a cup of coffee at your favorite coffee house and start learning something new about one another! Just another reason to love a good cup of coffee. As if you needed another reason...

*Permission was granted by Lanny to share this odd habit with everyone!

A Departure from the Coffee House

I'm departing from the coffee house for a brief moment because I can! (If you need to grab a cup of coffee or tea then please feel free to do so!) What is on my heart has nothing to do with a conversation I have had in a coffee house but I am sure this conversation could be happening in a coffee house somewhere at this very moment. In fact, it's a good guess of mine that it is.

Years ago I sat in a church sanctuary with Lanny and we heard a message that really impacted us. In fact it impacted us so much so that even to this very day we quote it to one another and use it with others. The text was out of the Old Testament and it was the story of a man who sinned against God and therefore he sinned against others as well. The nation of Israel was told to go and conquer the city of Ai and they were told by the Lord to not plunder the city for it was unclean. But this man, Achan, couldn't help himself. He took a few things and hid them. He told nobody, not even his wife. Oh, but God knew. And God called him out in front of the entire nation. And as a result he and his family were punished for this sin that he alone committed. (See Joshua 7 for the full story) Achan thought nobody would be touched by it but it ended up costing him his life and the lives of his family. It ended up costing the nation of Israel when they went to go take a city that should have been easy to defeat but wasn't. His sin had consequences that went outside of himself. His sin was not self-contained but contaminated his family and his nation. It was a powerful message Lanny and I heard that day. It was a powerful realization that when I sin it has consequences I haven't considered that could be far-reaching. Oh, the pastor that preached the message? Ted Haggard from New Life Church. Yes, THAT Ted Haggard.

Thursday night, November 2, God returned me back to that powerful message from Ted. You know messages shouldn't be from people but from God to all of his people, even those he calls to be pastors. Many times my pastor can be heard saying that before he delivers the message to us on Sunday mornings he has been wrestling it through in his own heart and life, that's the way it should be. So did I have a moment of "I knew this would happen satisfaction" when I heard the news? Yes, (am I proud of that? NO) it lasted about 5 seconds until I realized the severity of the situation. Until I realized that whatever Ted did do will have far reaching consequences for his family, his congregation, and the literal millions of people who trusted him as the head of the NEA. And then my heart became, as Dr. James Dobson has said as well, "heartsick." Oh I am heartsick for Ted Haggard. He is a human man, flawed like all humans, on the Philippians 1:6 road like all humans. No matter my feelings or thoughts about him in the past, I echo a friend who said this is not what I would have wanted for him, for Gayle and the kids, for New Life congregation. (If you are up for a bold, honest essay on Ted's public fall from grace check out http://thereadyroom.blogspot.com/ )

Probably like a lot of people in Colorado Springs I had trouble sleeping Thursday night. It was o'dark-thirty on Friday morning when I stirred and when I had exited my restless sleep I heard God tell me to start praying for Ted and so I did. I prayed. I prayed things for him that were directed by God as I was still on the edge of sleep. I didn't and I haven't stopped. I woke up with a heavy heart and prayed, I walked the treadmill at my clubhouse and prayed - especially when the Today Show did a short segment on him and there he was splashed all over national news, I prayed as I had lunch with a friend, I prayed as a friend and I discussed what each of us felt God asking us to pray for, I prayed as I realized that perhaps it is "easy" right now to point the finger at Ted because his sin has been publicly exposed and expect repentance to come but as I realized that I have sins that haven't been exposed and how much more do I need to repent of them?

We are ALL sinners and at any moment in a number of ways our sins could be publicized. Even if we aren't national news figures we could still manage to pull off a great shock within our circles of influence. What secret sins am I carrying deep in my heart? What sins are you carrying deep within? None of us can point that finger at Ted and gleefully declare his shortcomings without realizing that truly there are 3 fingers pointing back at us. Oh may Ted repent but may we repent with him.

By the way, I have to say so far I am proud of the Body of Christ. There has been no condemnation from any that I have spoken to, only a deep realization that it could have been them. There is compassion for Ted and a heart to see him restored.

My prayer is we continue on that path of offering grace and prayer for a man who puts his pants on like all the rest of us - one leg at a time.

The Trial of Faith

Never confuse the trial of faith with the ordinary discipline of life, because a great deal of what we call the trial of faith is the inevitable result of being alive. Faith, as the Bible teaches it, is faith in God coming against everything that contradicts him - a faith that says, "I will remain true to God's character whatever he may do."

- Oswald Chambers -