Diversity. Our Common Ground.

I've been thinking about diversity lately. In fact, I looked it up to make sure that I was thinking about it in its true definition and not how our culture has attempted to define it.* For the record, I was thinking of it in its original intent.  *grin*

A few months ago I was standing at the back of a packed auditorium at a concert.  I was watching the performer when my eyes began to sweep the room and catch the people attending instead.  It was a Christian artist and the song happened to be one that prompted a worship atmosphere so some hands were raised and some were not, some people were singing along and others weren't.  I'm guessing there were people there who are pre-tribulation and others that are post-tribulation and still others who are mid-tribulation.  There were probably people there who take communion every week and some who only take it once a month. I am positive there were people there who love John MacArthur and others who love Joel Osteen. And I know for a fact there were people there who read the King James Version of the Bible and believed anyone who didn't may be in danger of the fires of hell.  While other people in the room, say like myself, like to look at a portion of scripture in 4 different versions of the Bible. There were people in the room who speak in tongues and others who don't.  I guess you could say it was a diverse group of people.

Recently, at my home church, we were looking at a chapter in 2 Kings. The person leading the chapter discussion had shared her thoughts on the chapter and what kind of things stood out to her. My notes and observations of the same chapter yielded completely different thoughts!  And I smiled because that's diversity.  Just like the concert I attended where diversity was so well represented in the room so it made an appearance again in a smaller setting.

Diversity is a reality of life.  We cannot escape it.  If we were not a diverse people we would be like a clone cult. And those never work out very well. (Remember Jim Jones and the Kool-Aid?  David Koresh and Waco?)  Diversity is something that people scream for from the tops of their soapboxes but in their personal lives they sneer at. We don't want diversity, we want conformity.  Once we step down from our soapboxes for diversity we change our stance.  Somehow we think diversity in universal ways is attainable without accepting diversity in personal ways.  We disparage people for their different beliefs about politics, religion, parenting, education, or whatever else would fall into that category.  We vilify people for holding a different opinion than our own.  Here's a profound truth: until you embrace diversity in your personal life you will be a weak and ineffective voice for it in the world.

Here's another profound truth about diversity, brought to you compliments of life experience, mine namely: In all the areas where we do not entertain diversity in our personal lives we will be challenged on.  In all the areas where we stubbornly cling to hateful, inconsistent, and hypocritical beliefs born of legalism we will be challenged on. Don't believe me?  Look at Jesus. He consistently challenged the Pharisees on their false, hypocritical, inconsistent, and at times hateful, beliefs and traditions. And they responded as so many still do today.  They disparaged him, they vilified him, and then they tried to kill him.  We may not go so far as to physically harm someone who doesn't agree with us but we do kill them with our words.  We use our words as a weapon to cut down anyone who dares to show a different side than the one we have.

What if you are wrong about that belief you cling to?  I know.  I know you think it's not possible that you could be wrong, misinformed, mistaken, or deceived but what if you are?  The answer lies in diversity. We must invite it into our lives, through people, to help us stay grounded and filtered.  We must allow diversity, through people, to challenge us.  Even if we end up not agreeing with them we need the reminder to stay open to other trains of thought, methods, beliefs, etc.  Here's a great definition I came across from the University of Oregon: The concept of diversity encompasses acceptance and respect. It means understanding that each individual is unique, and recognizing our individual differences.  These can be along the dimensions of race, ethnicity, gender, sexual orientation, socio-economic status, age, physical abilities, religious beliefs, political beliefs, or other ideologies.  It is the exploration of these differences in a safe, positive, and nurturing environment. It is about understanding each other and moving beyond simple tolerance to embracing and celebrating the rich dimensions of diversity contained within each individual.

What's an appropriate way to respond to diversity in our personal lives?  Well, I can tell you what isn't appropriate!  It is not appropriate to use coarse and vulgar language to prove your point.  It is not appropriate to attack someones character for having a differing opinion.  It is unacceptable to cut off relationship* with someone just because they think black tea is best and you think green tea is the only tea to drink.  (Do you see how I kept that example light and out of controversial territory? *wink*)  What is appropriate is keeping an open mind and heart, allowing the other person to share their view with you, embracing the challenge a different train of thought brings, giving yourself permission to be wrong or to change your mind, allowing for the possibility that both perspectives are true and there may be more than one way to do something.

Diversity allows for opposing or opposite views to co-exist.  We don't have to have "everything" in common but diversity is the one thing we do, or should, have in common and we should celebrate it every day.*

*For culture's attempts at defining diversity click here and scroll down to read the variety of definitions. 
*Sometimes we have to cut off relationship with someone for a variety of reasons but that's not what this blog is about. That's a whole other can of worms to open! 

*That's a loose quote from an unknown source. 

Before writing this post I wrote one on Tolerance.  Click here to read those thoughts!

You call that tolerant? Huh.

Have you ever noticed that people who claim to be tolerant are usually one of the most intolerant people? You haven't? Well stick with me and I'll show you what I mean.
First let's have a quick vocabulary lesson.  Here's what tolerant means. And here's what intolerant means.
Okay now that we are all on the same page, let's continue.

Here's a real life story about pride in being tolerant being a mask for intolerance.  Recently* someone I know personally bragged about their tolerance for other religious beliefs and cultures.  They cited examples of going to dinner parties where all different religions mixed and it was wonderful and this person felt so good about themselves for being so tolerant.  The same "tolerant" (remember what it means) person refused to attend a family member's baptism and threw an adult style temper tantrum over it. They refused to exit the car in the church parking lot and then, when finally coerced into coming into the church, they pulled out a fictional novel and pointedly read it the entire service.  Yep, that person is so tolerant.

And they aren't the only prideful "tolerant" person I've run into throughout the years that are actually one of the most intolerant people I know.  To accuse me of being intolerant is, well, comical.  But I get accused of that a lot.  In fact, I get accused of it by the "tolerant" people - you know the ones who say they are tolerant but refuse to participate in certain events, discussions, etc because a *gasp* Christian might be there.  Yet I show up to their discussions, events, etc.  So who is the tolerant one and who is the one that displays intolerance?  The "tolerant" ones that won't read research that the opposing view offers but me, the "intolerant" one, that wants to know both sides.  The "tolerant" ones that purposefully post vulgar language, derisive cartoons, and needling articles on their social media sites or me, the "intolerant" one, that respects their choice and doesn't say things to purposely offend or start debate that can't be productive.  The "tolerant" ones that assign a generality to all Christians because of one person (think Pat Robertson, ugh) or me, the "intolerant" one, who knows one person's stupidity doesn't represent all who have similar beliefs.

A friend recently had this as her Facebook status, "I have no tolerance for intolerance.  There.  I said it."  I thought to myself, "YES!  Exactly!"  She succinctly put into words what this particular article is about.  The only thing I knowingly have intolerance for is intolerance.  I try to be objective and open minded about everything else.  This doesn't mean I agree with everything else but it means I don't treat people with differing beliefs, opinions, etc as idiots for not seeing things my way.

Being tolerant means having respect for people having their own opinions, whether you agree with them or not.  Being tolerant means allowing yourself to be surprised by a perspective change on a topic you have stood firm on in the past.  Being tolerant means admiring the intelligence that resides in others besides yourself. (I have also found that a good majority of intolerant people consider themselves to be genius as well.  And no that is not an intolerant statement about intolerant people, that's a observation born from life experience with several so-called tolerant people.)  It is not tolerance when you respect all beliefs but one.  It is not tolerance when you can't be open to someone sharing facts with you about something you don't agree with.  It is not tolerance when you purposely needle people who have opposing opinions by use of vulgar language, snide comments about them as a person, a refusal to concede to a well said fact.

I posted an article from Donald Miller the other day on my Facebook.  In my perspective it was a mild article, wasn't going to ruffle a lot of feathers or cause any sort of conversation.  I was surprised, then, when the comments started up.  And I was surprised by some of the comments!  One friend commented and when I mentioned that we would have to agree to disagree she removed her comment.  Huh.  I have no problem agreeing to disagree, I consider it to be a quality of tolerance for other opinions.  By removing her comment I felt she harbors intolerance for people who take a different position than she does and that makes me sad...and a little frustrated truthfully.  Another friend commented and it blew me away.  She said, "Beth, I look forward to your posts. You turn my preconceived notions on their head - and that's a very, very good thing."  This is my friend practicing tolerance.  She and I differ on basically every view point out there and yet here she is, willing to be open minded about seeing me and the topics we differ on in a different light. And I hope the same can be said about me.

It might be time for *us* to rethink our actual tolerance for people and things because if *you* call that (behavior or statement)  tolerant then my only response can be "huh."

*I said recently, without a timeline, in order to protect the guilty.  It could have been 5 years ago or it could have been yesterday.  

As a follow up to this post I also wrote one on Diversity.  Click here to read those thoughts!

The Vulnerability of Feet

Recently our home church decided to invade comfort levels and wash each other's feet.  It ended up families washed each other's feet while the other families observed.  We need to take baby steps (pun intended) with this whole command.  Yep, it's a command given to us by Christ.

Frankly, it is a little unnerving to consider.  And what's weird about that is that I am all about getting a pedicure, I have no qualms about a perfect stranger touching my feet.  I don't mind my husband rubbing my feet either.  But washing them?  I start to pull back a little.  There is something oddly intimate about someone else washing my feet.  It places me in a position of vulnerability and that is very unnerving.  And as I watched other people getting their feet watched I felt vulnerable on their behalf.

What is it about feet that exposes us to others, to even ourselves?  Perhaps it is that feet are so unique, filled with personality and character.  They can be, and are, beautiful - ugly - bony - chubby - cracked - smooth - calloused - tough - sensitive - small - large - smelly.  And to expose them to someone else feels like we are exposing them to all of those things that are true of us as well.  We can be, and are, beautiful - ugly - edgy - curvy - cracked - smooth - calloused - tough - sensitive - smelly.  And we pull back when we don't want others to see and know that about us, even our spouses.

When I held my foot out to my husband I instinctively curled my toes inward as if drawing back.  It's possible I even drew my foot back a bit but he had a grasp on it by that point so he kept it over the bowl. He poured the water over it and then took the towel to dry it off.  Such intimacy.  And with others watching it made it just a tad more unnerving.  There was nervous twittering the entire time from all of us there. It's uncomfortable to take part in and observe such an intimate act.

I imagine the disciples felt similar when Jesus stripped off his outer garments, tied a towel around his waist, and knelt down on the ground at the dusty and smelly feet of the men who had followed him for the last three years.  I imagine there was nervous twittering and an insecurity at Jesus touching the rough and calloused feet.  But Peter, as usual, was the only one bold enough to speak out loud what I think all of them were thinking, "Lord, you are going to wash my feet?" Jesus answered in the affirmative and Peter, as usual, came back with, "No!  You should never wash my feet!"  Imagine telling Jesus no.  Oh wait.  We do, everyday. We tell him no everyday.  We, like Peter, lose sight of who is knelt down at our feet.  We forget the past years of learning at his feet.  We curl our figurative toes inward to draw away from the one who wants to wash us clean.  We protest with voices that tremble with insecurity and fear at being found in such a vulnerable position.  And Jesus, with grace in his voice and love in his eyes, says to Peter, and to us, "Unless I wash you, you have no part with me."  Now I confess I am not near as bold as Peter who then, as usual, took it all the way, "Well then Lord don't stop at my feet!  Wash all of me!"  Poor Peter.  He gets a lot of flack from the pulpit for his bold statements and actions.  But I see and hear zeal in Peter. He is zealous for the Lord.  He loves Jesus more than he may even realize.  He believes even if he isn't quite sure what that belief means or will cost him.  I like Peter, I relate to him.  I, too, feel zeal for my Lord.  But I'm not bold like Peter.  I draw back and take a slower approach.  Jesus corrects Peter, and perhaps us, "No Peter.  You don't need a full body wash, you are clean except for your feet.  Washing your feet fulfills the need." Peter quiets down and we can assume he then placed his feet in the hands of Jesus.

I understand the vacillating.  I pull back from Jesus, unwilling to let him see and touch my insecurities and flaws.  He tells me that if I don't allow him in those places then I will have no part with him so I throw everything I have at him in desperation to be part of him.  He has to pull me back to a balance and reminds me that he only asked for specific insecurities and flaws, not all of it. He knows what I don't.  Eventually we'll get to the place where he has touched every insecurity and flaw but we'll take baby steps to get there (pun intended).

If I can't get vulnerable with the One who created me then I'm really going to have a tough time getting vulnerable with people. And I see the struggle in me.  I vacillate with people - my husband, my besties, my community.  I want vulnerability and sometimes I'm able to get there but a lot of times I curl my heart inward and start to pull back.  It is a lot of steps forward and backward but Philippians 1:6 says I have as much time as God determines I need to be called "complete" and since I see being complete includes allowing all of me to have been exposed and cleansed by Christ I guess I'm going to have to be patient in the process, and allow grace to wash over me...and my feet.

Yeast Revisited.

I looked down in my toaster and saw remnants of toast and bagels.  I emptied the handy tray that is designed to catch them and looked again.  The toaster was still littered with crumbs caught up in the coils and the edges of the toaster.  I shook it upside down, to the side, right side up, and I banged on the sides of the toaster but only a few more crumbs came tumbling out.  Short of immersing the toaster in warm water and letting it soak those crumbs are hanging on.  How appropriate, I thought, considering the reason why I was even spending time and energy on removing the crumbs.

Lanny just bought these new little LED flashlights so I used one to help me search out any food items in the dark recesses of my pantry that might contain a leavening agent.  I found a couple of items and pulled them out and placed them on the counter.  Fortunately the pile of leavening agents or items containing leaven was small.  It helps that for the past week or so I have been using or consuming things we have in our home that contain yeast or the like.  But I've consumed so much that I'm beginning to feel puffed up myself!  The break from leavened things comes at a good time.  Ha.

What in the world am I doing?  What's with this focus on leavening and removing it?  Last year I wrote about yeast.  And this year I'm back with some additional thoughts about it.  Today is the first day of the Feast of Unleavened Bread.  In Leviticus 23 God tells his people to abstain from things with leavening for 7 days and to remove it completely from their surroundings for those 7 days as well.  The observance begins with Passover, which is also commanded by the Lord to observe every year.  In the New Testament Paul addresses the observance of the Feast of Unleavened Bread by saying, "Get rid of the old yeast, so that you may be a new unleavened batch—as you really are. For Christ, our Passover lamb, has been sacrificed. Therefore let us keep the Festival, not with the old bread leavened with malice and wickedness, but with the unleavened bread of sincerity and truth." And while what Paul says sounds like a metaphorical observance I am inclined to believe he was actually speaking literally.  Why?  One reason is that Paul was an observant Jewish man who happened to believe that Jesus was the Savior.  He also happened to believe that Jesus meant what he said when he declared that he had come not to abolish the Law but to fulfill it. Paul followed God's commands to keep the biblical festivals and knew that observing the Feast of Unleavened Bread literally led to the metaphorical observance as well.  And it does.  God knows that we need something with substance to use for our metaphors and searching out and ridding our surroundings of leavening agents does the trick.  God uses yeast and its function as a word picture for sin in our lives.  And God desires to see us go after sin and remove it.  He wants us to be diligent about it all the time but for 7 days we are to be hyper-diligent as a way to keep us humble before him.  And it works.

If you read my post last year about yeast you'll remember that I was doing great at not partaking of any until a little slip-up which was a complete accident.  Last year I participated in the Feast by not consuming any leavened food for the 7 days. This year I decided to observe it fully by also getting rid of any food items in our home that contained leavening.  That's why I was looking in the toaster and using a flashlight to search the pantry.  And the searching accomplished exactly what the Lord, I believe, intended for it to do. It revealed that just like leaven hides in places and things I wouldn't think it needed to be, so sin does the same thing in my life.  It infiltrates my heart and hides in the places of my life where it needn't be.  And in order to find it I need to intentionally search for it, just like with the leaven in my home.  Not only was leaven hanging out in our kitchen but a look under our couch cushions revealed crumbs had made their way there and were hiding out. So I didn't have to just search the most obvious places for the hiding places, I had to search the whole house.  The same is true of sin in my life.  I shouldn't be searching for just the most obvious places within my life and heart for sin, I need to search all the nooks and crannies.  And when sin is found take the necessary steps to remove it.

A week or so ago I was studying Leviticus 5 and the chapter deals with the unintentional sins we commit and the way to handle those.  I know that in the coming week of observance I am sure to discover something that has leaven in it that I missed in my search or, just like last year, unthinkingly consume something that has yeast in it.  Those are the unintentional sins Leviticus 5 refers to.  Things I do or say that I'm not aware, at the time, offend our Holy God but once I am aware I am required to make right.  God makes provision even for the unintentional.  His grace is deep and wide.

Black Hole Living

Sometimes it seems miles away from me and other times I am teetering on the edge peering down into the darkness.  And then there are the times it swallows me up, almost without my noticing until I am in a free fall like Alice tumbling down the rabbit hole to Wonderland.  Except I don't land in Wonderland, I land at the bottom of a black hole.
I lay there, looking up and searching for the pinpoint of light that I need to claw my way up to.  My black hole changes depths, sometimes it is deep and others times it is relatively shallow. Laying at the bottom I feel defeated, depleted, despairing. Wrapping energy around these emotions takes work and until I do I won't be able to claw out of this hole.  So I lay there and I work to get enough energy to begin the upward journey. Eventually I begin to claw my way up.  It feels like one step forward and two steps backward at times. Sometimes I reach the top only to slip back down again.  And then there are the times that I reach the top and I grip the edge with my fingertips and I begin the painstaking process of pulling myself up and out of that hole once again. Should I succeed, or rather when I succeed, it takes some recovery time before I can safely move away from the edge of the hole.
I lay there, so aware of how one little shift would send me tumbling down the hole again, panting and trying to catch my breath.  I inch away from the edge, my energy depleted by the claw-climb out of the hole.  The further I inch away the stronger I become.  Eventually I can get to my hands and knees and move a little faster, always seeking to put distance between myself and the black hole. At some point I know I will be able to get to my feet and walk and then even perhaps run to lengthen the distance.  The further I can get away from it the longer it will take for another encounter.  Because the reality is I am going to have another encounter.  The black hole didn't even exist until a few years ago but now it is here to stay, making its presence known.  Now it is a reality in my life, it is a struggle I encounter, it is a tool of humility.
It isolates me even as truth within me whispers its warnings against isolation.  It numbs me to relationships.  It sucks all physical and emotional energy out of me.  But it no longer perplexes me.  It no longer deceives me into masking what it really is.  I know what it will take to claw-climb out of it.  In some ways I can even determine its depth.  And some days, while in the claw-climb of the black hole, I am even able to laugh and smile and people think I am enjoying life.  I'm good in public, I can almost make the black hole disappear. But see me alone and then you see what kind of life I'm living in the black hole.  Try to interact with me in person or virtually and you will get delayed responses, if you get them at all.  Try to catch my eye and hold eye contact, I'll look away after about 1 second but not before you catch the weariness.  Listen to what I say and you'll hear about my low-energy levels.  Observe me from a distance and you'll see me deeply sigh, blink, and try to motivate myself to do something productive.  Yes, once you know what to look for you will know if I've been sucked in to another black hole or if I am trying to claw-climb my way out of one.
But life in the black hole has had one surprising gift.  It has been, and continues to be, one of perspective.  I have an expanded perspective on God's grace, God's people, and God's love.  So for all the weight that black hole living brings to me, both figuratively and literally, there's a bright pinpoint of light always guiding me.