in-ˈte-grə-tē

in•teg•ri•ty
noun \in-ˈte-grə-tē\
: the quality of being honest and fair
: the state of being complete or whole
Full Definition of INTEGRITY
1:  firm adherence to a code of especially moral or artistic values :  incorruptibility
2:  an unimpaired condition :  soundness
3:  the quality or state of being complete or undivided : completeness

I have some questions about integrity that have been occupying brain space for a few years now. I feel like we apply broad brushstrokes to integrity and use it toward large concepts but keep it out of the details of day to day life. This feeling, these questions, I have come after entering back into the workforce and observing people as employees.

For example (and to be sure there are others), I have watched, and heard, employees make plans to call in sick so they could do something else like go on a trip or have a day off.  They would go through these elaborate steps to make it seem as if they were getting sick so when they called in to their boss it seemed plausible.  This really began to bother me.  It speaks of several things I think but the one thing that kept coming back to me about it was the lack of integrity.

Now, I'm not throwing stones.  I am positive I have done some things that were empty of any integrity.  And because I can admit that about myself I have no judgment toward people I witness doing things that have no integrity attached to them.  I have no judgment but I do have questions for us to think through together.  

What is integrity? 
According to Webster's (definition above) integrity includes qualities of honesty and fairness.  It speaks of adhering to the rules even when we don't necessarily agree with them.  When we operate with integrity it appears that we aren't divided between the angel on one shoulder and the devil on the other both whispering in our ears.  When we are divided we will inevitably choose the devil on our shoulder over the angel and as we are we know it's wrong but we can't help it.  We can't help it because we have allowed our flesh to speak louder than the Spirit.

How do we pursue it? 
Integrity is a moment by moment, day by day choice.  Throughout our days we will have many opportunities to chose between a right direction and a wrong direction. The direction we chose indicates if we are pursuing integrity in our lives or not.

What does it look like in day to day life?
Integrity has the features of trust built in to it.  Do we trust God enough that when we make the, and it is oftentimes the harder, right choice he will honor it?   Do we trust that the harder choice, which is most often the right one, will have God in the details and it will go well for us?
Integrity has the features of honesty built in to it.  When we make the choice to be honest with someone about something integrity prompts us to speak in a forthright way and with love.  Integrity doesn't hold back the truth because it cares more about the person in the big picture than it does about the small picture which is so limited.  We also practice honesty in our own life, not trying to skirt around truth or cover up anything that needs to be exposed in our own life.
Integrity has the features of authenticity built in to it.  A person pursuing integrity knows that what they do when nobody is watching is just as important, actually more so, as what they are doing when people can see them.  A person pursuing integrity is one who is consistent in their behaviors and attitudes in public or in private.    

How does it apply to all areas of life? 
There isn't an area of life where integrity isn't applicable.  How we interact in relationships - friendships, co-workers, significant others, parenting, anyone who falls into your sphere of influence throughout your days (teachers, cashiers, etc) - integrity applies.  How we perform our job - integrity applies.  How we handle our finances - integrity applies.  If people see us lacking integrity in one area of our life they will wonder if we act with integrity in any area.

And perhaps the most important question of all...
If and when I don't stand up for integrity what does that say about mine?
This is the question that stops me in my tracks.  When I fail to act with integrity by standing up for it then the message I send out is that I, also, don't think integrity is valuable.  I will act with integrity and stand up for integrity only when I know and recognize the value of it.  What kind of price am I putting on it?  Do I recognize how priceless integrity is?  Do I believe that making the right choice pays off in the end, maybe not in the short-term but in the long-term for sure?  Do I trust that God will honor my decision to behave with integrity even when it's really hard and may be inconvenient or uncomfortable?

I can't force anyone but myself to act with integrity.  I can stand up for it, I can encourage the people in my life to pursue it, I can make choices that show I am pursuing integrity but I can't force it on anyone else.

Integrity is not a general concept to be applied with broad brushstrokes but it is an intricate detail applied with intention and attention to the enhancements it brings to our characters. Let us not settle for anything less.

A Thief Named Comparison

That sneaky thief.

It crept up on me while I was looking the other way, mumbling under my breath with envy as I stared down the source of my green skin.  

It crept on me while I puffed up with pride, looking down my nose, and sneering with judgment at the source of my inflated ego.  

That sneaky thief. 

After it crept up on me and accomplished its work I felt something missing.  I checked my bag, not in there. I checked my pockets, empty.  I scratched my head, where could it be?  That sneaky thief stole it right out from under my green skin and my inflated ego. 

That sneaky thief stole my joy.  

That sneaky thief named Comparison has stolen my joy.

It was stolen from me when I looked at someone else and allowed the green monster of envy to emerge.  As I compared my job - my house - my parenting - my body - my children - my parents - my siblings - my friends - my material possessions - my spiritual journey - my marriage - my relationships - my academic prowess - my fashion sense - my decorating skills - my hospitality - my fill in the blank - my joy was stolen away from me, my gratitude for what my life consisted of was stolen away.  I was left empty, joyless.  All that I had was a grumbling heart and a green tint to my skin.  I was never satisfied and my smiles were strained and spoke of jealousy due to the thief named Comparison.  My eyes were blind to the good things in my life.

It was stolen from me when I looked at someone else and allowed my ego to inflate with pride.  As I compared my job - my house - my parenting - my body - my children - my parents - my siblings - my friends - my material possessions - my spiritual journey - my marriage - my relationships - my academic prowess - my fashion sense - my decorating skills - my hospitality - my fill in the blank - my joy was stolen away from me, my gratitude for what my life consisted of was stolen away.  As I secretly, or not so secretly, passed on judgment on someone else who I perceived as inferior to me the joy in my life drained out as if my lifeblood was being drained out.  My inflated ego and judgmental spirit compared my life to theirs and that thief somehow convinced me that I was superior and they inferior.  I was left empty, joyless.  I had no compassion nor kindness in me and my ego was inflated to the point of bursting.  I was arrogant and competitive, always seeking to make sure Comparison found me to be the "winner."

That sneaky thief Comparison has stolen my joy by convincing me that I am both not good enough and better than.  And now I am bereft without joy.

That sneaky thief named Comparison stole my joy but I'm going to steal it back, reclaim it as mine.

I'm going to reclaim it as I look at my job - my house - my parenting - my body - my children - my parents - my siblings - my friends - my material possessions - my spiritual journey - my marriage - my relationships - my academic prowess - my fashion sense - my decorating skills - my hospitality - my fill in the blank - and discover I am grateful for what I have and I have a choice to improve what I'm not happy about. I'm going to reclaim it as I look at others and instead of having envy toward them or thinking myself better than them I simply choose to acknowledge their journey looks different than mine.  I'm going to fill back up with joy as I choose gratitude over envy, as I choose humility over superiority.

I took back what was rightly mine from that sneaky thief.  Comparison is bondage and joy is freedom and I'm free once again.  

Make the Thought Count

It's not like it's a new thought or idea.  When Solomon states in Ecclesiastes that there is nothing new under the sun he spoke truth.  There are no new thoughts, ideas, etc but there are expansions on what is already present.  There are new twists to the present idea or thought. There are different or even new applications.

I have read Philippians 1:3 countless times.  And countless is an understatement.  It is one of the most overused verses in the Bible.  So the temptation is to skim right by it in search of deeper truths.  But, for whatever reason, this day I skidded to a halt on this verse.

I thank my God every time I remember you.  

How many people do you think about each day?  On average?  The people you live with, the people you work with, and then who else?  Maybe a handful more?  And for the most part probably a different handful every day.  I want to zero in on that handful.  Chances are good that your interactions with those you live with communicate that you are thinking about them.  And for your co-workers?  Well that's a hit and miss I suppose but since you interact with them 5 days a week chances are decent that your communications with them indicate you have thought about them in some way as well (whether or not you are thankful is another story).  But it's that handful.  When they happen to run across your mind do you let them know?

Every so often I drink Lady Gray Tea.  It's not my most favorite but every so often I get a craving for it. And when I do drink it I think of one person every time without fail.  She and I are no longer friends.  I suppose we are still acquaintances, but we don't have daily communication and haven't seen each other in about 4 years.  But this tea makes me think of her.  It so happened that the day after I had skidded to a halt on Philippians 1:3 I made myself some Lady Gray tea.  And since it was so fresh in my mind I decided to act on thinking about her.  So I emailed her.  It was super short.  I simply let her know I thought of her because of the tea I was having and I hoped she was well.  That's it. No big conversations, no initiation of relationship, nothing but just letting her know she was thought of.  It doesn't matter what she thought of my out-of-the-blue email, I just knew that somehow it made a difference for me. Maybe it did for her too.

Certain things - smells, sounds, music, foods - are triggers for me.  I'm guessing they are for you too.  And usually when a memory is triggered a person is part of that memory. Sometimes they are still in my life, other times not.  With some people and the memories attached to them I don't feel so thankful.  Sometimes I remember that I have also questioned God, not thanked him, for allowing that person to be part of my life at some point.  Depending on how long ago the person was in my life I might still be questioning God today. *grin* Just being honest.  But I do try to insert some thankfulness in there as well. I try to be objective and mature about the reasons why that person was in my life, their role in my own personal growth, and my role in the relationship I had with them.  I search for the reasons why I can be thankful to God for them. And frankly, a lot of those reasons usually center on how not to behave in relationships, in how not to be in relationship to God, in how not to treat others.  So I can be thankful for them, not for the positives but for the negatives because they served as a lesson for me in how not to be.  So see?  I can still be thankful to God for them when they cross my mind, which they do from time to time.

So all this has me thinking, what would change in our relationships if we did the following based on Philippians 1:3?
*Thanked God for the person who just ran across our mind (even if we don't personally like them!) and pray for them (people it counts with God if this all happens in a space of 30 seconds - you don't have to spend hours on this and when praying for someone you don't have to know what's going on with them - trust that God knows because he does).
*If possible, and appropriate, let them know you have thought about them.  (Send a text, send a Facebook Inbox, send an email, dial their phone number and call them, drop a note by their workplace, knock on their door and give them a hug, you can see there are many ways to let people know they are being thought of.)

What could change in that person's life because of that?
What could change in our lives because of practicing that kind of contact?
What might change in relationships because of that small intentional reach out?

If you are like me then you think about someone at least once a day accompanied by the thought, "Oh I should fill in the blank them (call, text, etc)" and then the day continues and you get caught up in its flow and the thought occurs to you again about midnight when you need to be sleeping.  And then you just never follow through. The thought was there but never acted on.  And if you are like me perhaps you have shrugged your shoulders and said, "Oh well it's the thought that counts."  Um.  Not in this case actually.  In this kind of situation the thought doesn't count because nobody but you knows you had the thought! So make the thought count, share it with the person you had it about.  Take 30 seconds and communicate with them.  Make the thought count.   

I'm not good at making the thought count. There's my confession.  I just spent the last few minutes telling *you* to do it when I myself kinda stink at it.  But I promise I'm not being hypocritical, you want to know why?  Because I'm not saying I am great at this and because I use posts like these to be a reminder to me of how I want to live my life. So really this whole post is for me and if *you* get something out of it then great! Also, sometimes I stink at this because of the season of life I am in.  Sometimes my seasons wear me out and I'm just trying to get through the days.  And sometimes my seasons are dark and when they are one of the first things to taper off in my life is my communication with others. These aren't excuses, just realities. And you have your realities as well. But even in the midst of our realities let's try to reach out in small but potentially meaningful ways.

Let's make the thought count.