Dear Teenager, I want you to know...

...that this moment you are living is not the whole of your life. It feels like it, I know. Oh do I know. You see, I was a teenager once as well.  So were your parents. And while so much has changed about being a teenager this has not.  This moment, this hard and yucky and distressing moment, is not the whole of your life.  I'll even go so far as to say I promise it isn't.

Don't let this moment color your entire life. When the painting of your life is finished, this moment will be the tiniest speck of color, lost in the amazing life that waits for you. This moment might feel like a large blob of black dropped on to the canvas of your life but I promise you it isn't.  Don't allow this moment to define your whole life, it doesn't have that kind of power as long as you don't give it that power. This moment is simply texture on the painting of your life and we all need some texture.

Put this moment in its proper place. Don't allow it to be bigger than it is, casting shadows on all the good things in your life right now. In fact one of the ways to diminish the false power of this moment is to verbalize and live out gratitude.  When was the last time you truly did that?  When was the last time you thanked your parents for letting you stay out with friends until 10 pm instead of complain that they wouldn't let you stay out until 10:15 pm?  When was the last time you thanked your parents for providing food in the house instead of complain about not having your favorite snacks?  Do you see what I mean? It's a matter of perspective and this moment needs to be put in its place.  This moment is birthed from a lack of gratitude for what you do have and a sense of offense for what you think you need but haven't been provided.  That's called entitlement and it will steal your soul and give you more of these moments than you should have.

Sometimes this moment is birthed from a true injustice. You still have the power to put it in its place and control it instead of it controlling you. Find someone to help you, you can't do things like this alone.  There is no shame in needing some help, a guide, a mentor, someone with more life experience than you.  There's no shame in it, in fact seeking help is one of the wisest things you will ever do.

This moment is temporary.  It feels final.  But it isn't.  Even as soon as next year you will look back on it and shake your head at the feeble attempts to have power over you.  It is only temporary, however, as long as you put it in its proper place.  If you allow it to define you then it wins and you lose.

I've had moments. Moments born out of true injustice and moments because I lacked gratitude. Sometimes I still have moments but I know I cannot let them define me.  One of my greatest desires is to see you learn that lesson sooner rather than later like I did.  I wasted years, literally, of my life being defined by a moment or two.  I don't want that for you.  There's so much life to live, why let a moment spoil it?  On the timeline of your life being a teenager is going to be a speck.  Right now it feels momentous and like it covers such a large portion of your life. And it does, right now. But when you look back you'll see the reality of this time and these moments. There's so much more life to live and look forward to, don't let this moment derail you. Don't let this moment become so overwhelming that you think life can't be lived any longer.  People who take their lives have been derailed by a moment.  And sometimes they let moments build on top of one another until all they see are the blobs of black on the painting of their life.  They can't see the color.  But the color is there, I promise.

Dearest teenager, this moment, this hard and distressing moment, will pass. Take a nap, watch a comedy, list out what you are grateful for, take deep cleansing breaths, and recognize that the moment only has power as long as you let it. Have the hard conversations if that is what the moment requires, grab the hand of someone who won't let you go while you take control over this moment so it doesn't take control over you.

Don't let this moment have you, you are not this moment.

You are so much more.  

Greedy for More

In the past year or so I have noticed something within my family, myself included.  When we are greedy for more we lose sight of being grateful for what we already have or received.

For example, my youngest redhead and one of her BFF's get the spend almost every Saturday together because we do home church together.  They are usually together a minimum of 5 hours.  One day a few months ago they had been together at least 7 hours and when we sounded the call for leaving in a few minutes they both went up in arms, begging and pleading for more time.  What ended up happening is they wasted the few minutes they had left with each other arguing with us parents about more time.  Not once did it occur to them to be grateful for the 7 hours they got.  They were simply greedy for more.  Or just yesterday my other daughter had to be picked up early from a youth leadership retreat that was important to her.  We had a commitment that couldn't be changed.  Instead of being grateful that she got to participate in it for almost 10 hours she was negotiating to stay the remainder of the time and cancel our prior commitment. She wasn't grateful at all, it seemed to us, for the chance to be at the retreat for the majority of the time.  She was greedy for more.  The hub and I get cranky and greedy for more also.  Usually his comes in the form of material things that he thinks he should be providing for his family, mine comes in time spent with the besties in my life, especially the ones who live out of state.  He and I are both learning to be grateful for what we have and not be greedy for more and we are trying to teach our redheads the same life lesson. Gratitude is a life lesson.

When we are greedy for more we are blinded to what is right in front of us. The greed for more time, more money, more fill in the blank keeps us from gratefulness for what we have been given. We live in a society where we are told bigger is better, more is valued over less, and a discontent for what we do have is bred through social media, commercials, and the comments of others. In fact, to prove this very point I ran across this timely blog post just this morning.  Hop over here for a minute and read this and then come back to me. 

See what I am saying?  See the battle we get introduced to through the innocent, "well meaning" comments of others?  Not to mention the commercials that encourage us to trade in and up for better.  But is bigger better when it means we are living above and beyond our means? Is more a desirable thing when we have no room to store more or we hoard the more?  

How have you seen your greed for more affect your Gratitude Attitude?  

What is something today that you can be grateful for and not attach to it a desire for more of it or an upgraded version of it? 

*This post was originally posted at The 365 Experiment.