A year ago today I was fired. If you know me you are thinking, "Whaaaaaaaaaaaaa? How is that even possible?" Right. It shouldn't have been possible but it was for the organization I was working for. I've been fairly quiet about this organization and my firing the past year.
Until now.
To mark the one year anniversary of being fired from this organization that is led by hypocritical, ungodly, and weak patriarchs I thought I would share a few tips on how you too can be fired.
Tip #1:
Be a woman.
Tip #2:
Be someone who has their own opinions, methods, and beliefs about all manner of things and thinks that there is room at the table to present them for consideration.
Tip #3:
Be someone who takes the organization's mission statement at face value and attempts to practice it.
Tip #4:
Be kind.
Tip #5:
Be concerned about the overall health and well-being of the the employees of the organization which impacts the overall health and well-being of the organization itself.
Tip #6:
Don't bow down and worship at the feet of the insecure leadership.
Tip #7:
Don't enable the women in the organization who are kissing ass and compromising themselves to win favor with the weak patriarchs.
Tip #8:
Don't fawn over and stroke the egos of those who are underqualified to do their jobs.
Tip #9:
Be a woman who doesn't think that the man is always right, has all the answers, and is the best at everything he does.
Tip #10:
Don't pretend like the organization's leadership and Human Resources care about the employees and do what's best for them.
One might think I am being sarcastic with my tips, for this particular organization one would be mistaken. The above tips are literally why I got fired for "not being a cultural fit." I didn't get fired for anything that had to do with my actual job and the work I did - in fact, I was commended after I got fired for the excellent work I did and the way it helped the department I was working in.
I got fired from this faith-based, non-profit organization for wanting and pursuing health and well-being for the employees and therefore the organization.
I got fired from this faith-based, non-profit organization for taking at face value the mission statement based on Hebrews 10:24, "Let us encourage one another to love and good deeds." The COO didn't approve of or like how I took that verse to heart and tried to live it out at the workplace. It made him uncomfortable because he felt it was highlighting his deficiencies, his lack of compassion, and his inability to genuinely connect with people. Guess what? It did do that but that wasn't my motivation or even my purpose. He made it all about him when it was never about him.
I got fired from this faith-based, non-profit organization for being a woman that refused to kiss the feet of the men and stroke their egos.
I got fired from this faith-based, non-profit organization for not allowing bad behaviors to go unchecked but bringing them forward into the light as necessary and appropriate.
I got fired from this faith-based, non-profit organization because my boss - a weak man - decided to kiss the ass of someone he doesn't even respect or like. He decided that he was too tired to continue to do right things and stand for right behaviors.
I got fired from this faith-based, non-profit organization because the Director of Human Resources - an insecure woman - would rather live her life suppressed and because I wasn't willing to do the same she fought to get me fired, along with her boss - the jackass COO.
They said I wasn't a "cultural fit." I replied, "You are right, I'm NOT a cultural fit with this organization." Left hanging in the air behind my reply was the reasons I'm not - see above for those reasons. They knew what they were doing. They knew that I was making them uncomfortable and insecure. We humans don't like to be uncomfortable and insecure, we are so f*&%ing prideful about ourselves. So we seek to eliminate people and things that poke at us and cause us to be unsettled. So they eliminated me.
Except "I" won't go away. Life doesn't let off us the hook that easily. Someone else will come into those people's lives, that organization, and poke at them some more. Someone else will come along and continue what I unknowingly started. By being myself I stirred the pot of unease within the hearts of men and women in that place and someone else will come along and continue to stir the pot. Of course I don't know who that person is - I don't know their gender, I don't know when they will come along but someone will.
So if you want to get fired - specifically from a faith-based, non-profit - follow my tips above. If you don't get fired for following my tips above but instead are welcomed and embraced for them then I have two questions:
1) Where do you work?
2) Are they hiring?
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