Trading in FOMO for JOMO

I'm an introvert so I don't mind missing out on things. But social media has been different, it's changed me in ways I'm uncomfortable with. 

At first, it was just a way to stay in touch with people. But then, with its growing population came content. So much content that it's overwhelming and it makes one feel as if they are missing out if they don't keep up with all the content. 

It has the ability to make people feel unimportant if they don't know someone's latest status update. 

For something that was supposed to increase our social interaction it has ironically isolated us and diminished our ability to be authentically social. 

It's created weird popularity contests and fake personas. 

It's introduced fear into our lives. Fear that we can't keep up with "the Jones' " whose life looks so perfect in all those pictures shared, I mean do they ever not smile? Actually, yes. They don't smile more than they do but who wants to see that? So the smiles get shared and the comparisons get drawn. But if all you and I see are the smiles we are forced to conclude that the Jones' are incredibly happy and successful and fill in the blank. 

It's introduced a whole new platform for rude, crude, and disrespectful behavior. People have forgotten their manners when *interacting* on social media. As people log in to their accounts it seems like they put their humanity on hold and forget that who they will be interacting with is a human as well. 

It's become a battle ground for all the biggies and then things that shouldn't be big but are made so by the attention they receive on social media. 

It is a hotbed of misinterpretation, innuendo, assumptions, false information, and one-up-man-ship. 

But I didn't want to miss any of it. I wanted to be in the know of who said what to whom and what the relationship status is of so and so and how the most recent catastrophe was gaining attention and and and. The list goes on like that damn energizer bunny. 

And then I wanted to miss it all. I couldn't breathe. It was, it is, too much. TOO MUCH. My phone was dinging with notifications, my computer would (it seemed) open up on to Facebook, I felt behind (with what I'm not sure) if I didn't check in a couple times an hour at least. (Pst. Nothing had changed that was significant.) In 2009, 2012, and 2016 I went overseas and my ability to check in on social media was zero to limited. It was a huge relief. HUGE. It was a relief to not think about what kind of insightful, quippy, and/or meaningful status I was going to post. It was a relief to get a break from all the content that populated my home page feed. It was a relief to remember there was life apart from social media. It was a relief to know I could miss out because I wasn't really missing out on what mattered. 

In 2018 I took Facebook off my phone completely. I logged out of Facebook and changed all my logins that used Facebook to logins through my email. I removed Facebook from my bookmarks and then left Facebook for a month. It was good, no it was great. Somehow people still managed to get a hold of me and I of them, who knew it could be done outside of social media?! But I came back to it for a couple of reasons. And I was frustrated that I even had the reasons I did. So I started thinking harder and longer about leaving it all together and what that would mean for me and my relationships. I became insanely envious of my brother who hasn't touched Facebook with a ten foot pole and hasn't been sucked into the social media vortex. Lucky guy. I started thinking through what was the most important thing to me about having a Facebook account and could there be a work around? Of course the answer is yes. There is always a work around. It might take some adjustments and transitioning but isn't that just part of life? 

So as we rounded the corner on 2019 and 2020 came into sight, I knew it was time. Listen, I'll be honest people - I can't do another election season on social media. The last one was so brutal that I am still trying to recover from it and no, I'm not joking or exaggerating. That's great if *you* have thick skin and don't care if your humanity is called into question. I'm not like that and frankly I don't want to be. 

FOMO, in my life, is all about missing out of the non-essential things. I sure as hell hope that my tribe knows how to communicate with me outside of social media and will do so when the chips are down and the stakes high in their lives. If you are in my tribe, Facebook should not be our sole means of staying in touch. That's a superficial connection that is easily broken. My tribe and I should have stronger threads holding us together...and I think we do.

So JOMO is my goal. As an introvert, it's a more attainable goal than it may be for others and I still have that twinge of FOMO but I'll get over it, I practically am already.