Yesterday
God is the God of our yesterdays.
It is true that we have lost opportunities that will never return,
but God can transform this destructive anxiety
into a constructive thoughtfulness for the future.
Let the past rest, but let it rest in the sweet embrace of Christ.
Leave the broken, irreversible past in his hands,
and step out into the invincible future with him.
(Oswald Chambers, My Utmost For His Highest)
It's that time of year. Resolutions float in the air like promises we mean to keep but by mid-January will be covered with the dust of our forgetfulness or the disappointment of failure. I don't make resolutions. It seems like too much of a set-up for disappointment down the road. I always end up disappointed with myself that I didn't have enough discipline or self-control or whatever was called for. The older I get the more I realize that each day I make resolutions and each day is a new chance for me to fulfill or fail them.
"I remember my affliction and my wandering,
the bitterness and the gall. I well remember them,
and my soul is downcast within me. Yet this I call to mind
and therefore I have hope: Because of the Lord's great
love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail.
They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.
I say to myself, 'The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for him.'
The Lord is good to those whose hope is in him, to the one who seeks him;
it is good to wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord."
(Lamentations 3:19-26)
My year doesn't start with the turn of a calendar page from December 31 to January 1. It never has. I have a friend whose "year" always starts in June. Life just seems to happen for both of us outside of the January 1 "fresh start" that the rest of the world seems to live for. My year always starts around my birthday so I'm four months into my new year. Even so, this time of the year always causes me to stop for a moment or two of reflection. It never fails to amaze me what changes in such a short amount of time. 365 days sounds like a lot of time but in the big picture it is really nothing. And in that time plans are made, broken, changed and altered. In that time relationships are formed and relationships are broken, feelings change, promises are made and broken, jobs begin and end, and the list goes on and on.
I've had a hard yet victorious "year" so far. I'm a quarter of the way through and the personal transformation becomes more and more evident with each passing day. Oh, I have my days of set backs and my moments of yuck but the growth is evident. The one thing I still struggle to keep at the front of everything is praise. I have so many God stories and so many evidences of his hand on me and on my family the past four months but I so quickly lose sight of those when I'm in a yuck moment. So as I continue in my year and as a new calendar year begins I have purposed to be more worshipful as the storms rage around me. And I'm not dumb, there are going to be storms because life is like that. But I know, and I hope you do too, that is it the storms that test our character and grow us into who we are created to be.
I was sure by now/That you would have reached down/And wiped our tears away/Stepped in and saved the day/But once again, I say "Amen", and it's still raining/As the thunder rolls/I barely hear you whisper through the rain/"I'm with you"/And as your mercy falls/I raise my hands and praise the God who gives/and takes away
I'll praise you in this storm
And I will lift my hands
For you are who you are
No matter where I am
Every tear I've cried
You hold in your hand
You never left my side
And though my heart is torn
I will praise you in this storm
I remember when/I stumbled in the wind/You heard my cry/You raised me up again/My strength is almost gone/How can I carry on/If I can't find you/I lift my eyes unto the hills/As the thunder rolls/I barely hear you whisper through the rain/"I'm with you"/And as your mercy falls/I raise my hands and praise the God who gives/and takes away
I'll praise you in this storm
And I will lift my hands
For you are who you are
No matter where I am
Every tear I've cried
You hold in your hand
You never left my side
And though my heart is torn
I will praise you in this storm
Where does my help come from?/My help comes from the Lord/The Maker of Heaven and Earth
I'll praise you in this storm
And I will lift my hands
For you are who you are
No matter where I am
Every tear I've cried
You hold in your hand
You never left my side
And though my heart is torn
I will praise you in this storm
(Casting Crowns, Lifesong, 2005)
I will choose to praise God because so far in this year I have seen him raise up my head from grief, raise up my husband to be the man he was created to be - my protector and my courage, raise up on our behalf financially and provide for the needs of our family, bring forth those silver and gold friendships, raise my spirit within me to be who I have never been before, and knit me to my family as never before.
“Therefore we do not lose heart.
Though outwardly we are wasting away,
yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day.
For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us
an eternal glory that far outweighs them all.
So we fix our eyes not on what is seen,
but on what is unseen.
For what is seen is temporary,
but what is unseen is eternal."
2 Corinthians 4:16-18
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